Bootcamp Bound!

Okay so this was my status from Facebook not too long ago and this does a good job of summing things up:

"Well, my body fat *just* made it at 32%. I still think that woman measured me too low. But oh well! I biometrically signed my final contract with my fingerprint, was discharged from the DEP program and officially sworn into the United States Navy. Headed to the airport now! There are 5 of us going to RTC:) Hooyah!"

Yep! Lol.

We got to the airport at about 12:30pm and don't leave until 6:25pm so we are just hanging out now. It's me and 4 others and one of the shipper's family. They all have bags and I feel quite empty handed because all I have is my purse. The clothes I wore to the hotel I threw out because my family wasn't around to see me get sworn in (or for me to give my clothes to) or go to the airport. And I wasn't about to pay to get that stuff shipped back home, and pay by the pound, on my dime. Hell no lol.

But on the bus ride to the airport I made my final calls to my sister, Dad, and left a message for my Mom and Grandmom. Dad seemed to be really excited for me and proud. And, oddly enough, that made me proud. This time when he said I love you, I said it back. He is an ass and he is my Dad and I love him. It's what God would have me to do. I told him I will write him and I will.

My recruiter showed up at the last minute as I was boarding the bus to leave MEPS to shake my hand and see me off. I told him I would write him. He was excited I was excited to have actually passed the weight test. But I'm sure he was happy I passed the weight test because that meant he wouldn't get into trouble. Eh. Whatever lol. Can't blame the man for wanting to stay out of the Captain's Mass (or is it Mast??) on my behalf.

And now I am excited. I am apprehensive and wondering what I got myself into but driven and determined. The only thing that was freaking me out was my weight. And now that I have gotten that out of the way, I feel like I am actually doing this. This is real for me now. It's sad to say that is how much this weight thing was affecting me: that going to bootcamp almost did not feel real.

And, really, that damn woman still measured me down too low on my hips and at my damn thighs almost, but I made it. Even though my paper work said I gained two pounds since I was initially sworn in, I still made it. Now I feel better and confident that RTC will follow the same suit and have me at the same lower body fat with one percent to spare as well...

On another note, I got up at 4:15am, showered, and did my hair and make-up. Yes, I want to be "pretty" when I get to bootcamp:) I didn't get much sleep at all because I "slept" with that damn stomach wrap on, but I cut it off at 3am to actually get some sleep. And I did. Only to wake up an hour and 15 minutes later. Eh. Oh well. But at least my waist did measure at 29 inches instead of 30:)

I got along much better with the other shippers today as well. I guess because we are all excited and ready as we will ever be. There were A LOT of us too. Like 20 of us, the most shippers I have ever seen at MEPS. And a good number of them were going to the Air Force.
Oh and get this. The Air Force shippers had to bring toiletries and 3 changes of clothes because they don't get their uniforms until Sunday. HA! How idiotic is THAT???..

But enough of that! I just wanted to give you all a mini update on me and mine and what I am experiencing at this very moment. I am happy. I am nervous. I am officially in the United States Navy. And I have already passed and graduated from bootcamp. Yes, I just spoke things that be not as though they were. I spoke my future into being. Beat THAT, negativity! Lol..

Well, I have had my Starbucks and have a meal check that I will be using at the Chicago O'Hare airport with the other Navy shippers once we touch down tonight before we get to RTC. It's an hour drive to the actual bootcamp sight. We have long hours ahead of us. I hear we won't sleep for the first 48 hours. Oh yay:)

That's all for now! Pray for me. Send me Positive thoughts. And for those who sent me their addresses, you will be hearing from me in the coming weeks!

I'll see you all in 2 months and 1 week.

Hooyah!

~Sailor Taylor

The Radisson

Okay, so I started typing this earlier and it got erased:( So this will be a much shorter version. Sorry:(

I am at the Radisson hotel the night before I go to MEPS. I'm in the room solo. I don't think I have a roommate and I am fine with that. This is just me being antisocial lol.

But I got here last because my sister brought me as opposed to my recruiter; and after I ate a dinner of lean pork loin, corn, and "red" kool-aid alone (because, once again, I got here last and was the last to eat. Oh well), I tried to fellowship with my fellow shippers. But they are all about 17 or 18 and gave me hella cold shoulder. They did not make me feel welcomed at all. So I retreated to my room ASAP.

And the room is actually nice. They have Sleep Number beds:) But the tv is hella old and has basic cable with the exception of a random HBO channel. But it is all free:) And you can't beat free!

I'm also pretty uncomfortable because my recruiter did show up to wrap me in Preparation H, Saran Wrap, and duck tape:( He did it tight, but it's only about as tight as I wrap it, actually. So it's not too bad, but I can't get comfortable:( And this crap is rolling up on me and itches yet again. Ugh! But this is all for a good cause. I MUST go to bootcamp! And I will. Tomorrow:)
So far my waist does seem to be about half an inch smaller and that is awesome:) Now if I can get this down to a full inch we are all set!

When I stepped foot out the car and said my goodbyes, I was so nervous. My heart was jumping, my stomach was fluttering. That's part of the reason why I didn't eat much for dinner. But whatever. I will miss my sister and my family and my 5 year old nephew almost made me start balling right then and there. He's so sweet. I love them so:)

But, um, I guess this is all for now. Our curfew is at 10pm when we have to be in our rooms. And who knows? Maybe I will have a roommate by then? Ugh. I hope not lol. And then I have to get up at like 4something and get dressed, eat, and then head to MEPS. It will be a long and tiring day. But I welcome it.

More later...Maybe:)

~Sailor Taylor

The Dinner

Yesterday evening at 5pm (or shall I say 17:00? lol) I had my going away dinner. I was a bit apprehensive about having it because I didn't think anyone would show, but a few people did:) It was myself, my sister, two female college friends from my graphic design days, a male college friend, my cousin, my aunt, and a friend of mine who is a former Marine.. He's so FINE! Okay, had to get that out my system, lol..

But it was a good time. Once everyone got over the "I don't know anyone here" jitters, they all meshed very well. And, really, I don't hang out with people who are not open-minded or cool enough to get along with everybody. And if you can get along with me and end up being my friend, you can get along with anybody. Because I can be one tough cookie to befriend! Lol. I'm working on that:)

And, food wise, I did good at the dinner for the most part. I had a lean pork chop (still sticking to my Atkins regime) about 2 and a half hours before we left for the restaurant. So when we actually got there I was still pretty full and watched everyone else order and eat.
Really, my cycle always curbs my appetite. I don't know why, but during that time I hardly get hungry. I end up making myself eat because I know I should, not because I necessarily feel the need to..

Anyway! Back to the dinner:
While everyone ate and drank, I only drank. And boy did we drink! We ended up having 4 pitchers of lime margaritas on the rocks. And my two male friends took care of the charges for them:) I wasn't even expecting that. Hell, I wasn't even thinking about how they would be paid for! I didn't even know we got 4! I was so out of it drinking and trying to talk to everyone (and the conversations that took place were the best! My peeps are hilarious lol). All I know is that every time I looked, there was a full pitcher in front of me lol. And I got good and drunk. Whew! But thankfully I did not have a hangover this morning.
And I did end up eating this fried cinnamon and sugar cheesecake burrito thingy. It was called a chimmi cheese I think and they are always wonderful:) I Normally don't have them when I go to this restaurant, but that night I treated myself. So I ended up having dessert and liquor. And I got paid for by my friends. Yay:) But I did chip in on the tip. I have no idea what my friends left the waiter, but I gave him a $20. It was the least I could do.

My aunt, who has always been so supportive of me joining the military, left out first with my cousin. But before she left, she handed me a card with $20 in it. She's always so good with giving the appropriate card at the appropriate time, lol. The card itself read "..It's been a long climb.. And you deserve a mountain of praise!! Congrats!" And inside she wrote "Ashley, Congratulations on your inception into the military. Take God with you every step of the way and you will do well. Love ya much! Auntie Debra and Grant (my cousin)"

I love them so:)

Soon (after about 2 hours), it was time for us all to leave. I hugged everyone twice and we slowly went to our cars. I almost cried. This is what I will miss about Memphis. Good times, good fellowship, and the few true friends I do have. *Sigh*

Now I am waiting on my food to digest so I may go running since I was too busy putting my things into storage yesterday to do so. I cheated and for breakfast I had strawberries, sausage, and my sister's homemade French toast. It was AMAZINGLY good. But it was carbs:( But I figure this is my last home cooked breakfast, so why not? Normally, I wouldn't eat her cooking because it's not what's best for me and my diet, but this time I obliged myself:)

Oh, and get this. When I woke up this morning, my stomach was smaller and flatter than normal. It was a full inch tighter. After all that eating and drinking I did last night, my stomach wants to shrink?? Irony! Lol. Maybe it was the alcohol that dehydrated me? Who know! Who cares! Just as long as I keep this trend up when I go to MEPS and RTC. That would be love:)

So... That's about it for this entry. I'll have a little more to tell a little later on. And then I will disappear for about 9 weeks:)

~Sailor Taylor

P.S. My recruiter said he would come over my house tomorrow evening before I go to the hotel and wrap me up in Saran wrap and duck tape himself because he said I wasn't wrapping myself tight enough...
Um...
I hope this is just another lie he is telling me. Because that man is buff as hell and strong and I do not want him wrapping me. He may force my liver up into my throat:(
I mean, I will have to see him because he's going to bring me the packet I need to go to MEPS and then boot camp, but hopefully he will be in such a hurry to get to his night job that he won't do it.. Hopefully. *Fingers crossed!*

My Dad

I want to keep this short. I'm not for opening up old wounds, but I wanted to blog about this..

My Mom and Dad are both from Memphis (well, Momma kinda isn't lol) and met in the Memphis Navy Reserves after years of being on active duty. Dad joined the Navy in August 1969 (the same month I am leaving for boot camp. Ironic, right?) and Mom joined around the same time as well. And I don't blame them. After experiencing the assassination of Martin Luther King and integration from segregation, I would want to get the hell out of Memphis too.

But, back to my story, and this part is what freaks out a lot of people..
My Mom and Dad were married to other people when they conceived me. Momma was married to a fellow Sailor and my Dad was, and still is, married to a civilian. They got together and had me during their affair. Mom eventually got divorced from my step-dad when I was 3 and Dad, as I said, is still married to his wife.

My life was turbulent, to say the least. I knew Dad had an entirely separate family and I knew I had 3 older sisters. But I was kept a secret. It wasn't until my Freshman and Sophomore years of college that I was finally able to track down my sisters via Facebook and tell them who I am.

All hell broke loose. I had shattered their happy-go-lucky, picture perfect life. My sisters laid into me. They spoke ill of me and my Mother. And I have YET to forgive them for that. NO ONE speaks ill of my Mother. I don't give a damn who you are. My Mother is off limits.

Years ago, our Dad cheated and had me. Get over it. I have. For the most part, anyway.
But there's nothing like being "The Other Child," having to live in secrecy away from one half of your family because you are the dirty little secret. There's nothing like not being able to go out in public with your Mom and Dad for fear that someone will see your married Dad out with his Other Family. There's nothing like knowing you have a family out there that does not know about you. There's nothing like knowing where your sisters live and where they go to school but you still can't touch them. And there's nothing like having to call your Dad by his first name for the first 7 years of your life because "Daddy," even in private, was unacceptable.

There's so much more bullshit I was subjected to that I could write about. But I won't. I've already said enough..

But, long story short, my relationship with my Dad is nonexistent. I stopped talking to him after my sisters and I got into it once I told them who I am and he took their side. He basically said I had "corrupted" and upset HIS family by telling them of my existence. He said I shouldn't have told them. He yelled at me. It was as if it wasn't my right to know who I am and where I come from. I was devastated and heartbroken. After decades of dreaming of finally meeting my sisters and telling them that I exist, they do not welcome me with arms wide open, but damn me and my Mother.

So I stopped talking to him, gave up on them, and disowned that part of me just as they had disowned me. I was my Mother's child and no one else's. Period. And I would have loved to keep it that way. But when I joined the Navy my recruiter told me I had to get BOTH of my parents' information. I wanted to declare my father dead, but he said that would not look good on my behalf once the Navy did my background check and found out my father was actually living. Shit.

So I got into contact with a cousin on my Dad's side who actually likes me (The cousins are cool with me, ironically. It's the sisters who hate me). She was supportive of my Navy endeavors and gave me his contact information so I could get in contact with him and finish filling out my initial paperwork to enlist.

So I reluctantly called him. He knew who I was, of course. And he actually gave me his information. I was surprised at that. And I was surprised at myself for actually wanting his approval with what I was doing with my life. This was back in December, but I had just graduated college and was now joining the Navy. Not only was I college educated BEFORE my older sisters, I was also joining the military like he and Momma did.

Our conversation was strained and just short of two strangers speaking strictly on business terms.

That was back in December and I haven't spoken to him since. And I had no intentions of speaking to him again. Not before I went to bootcamp, not after, not ever quite possibly.

But today, out the blue, Dad called me.

I'd had him on my mind some days ago, but I'd thought nothing of it. I've also been having dreams about people from my past that I no longer talk to, but I thought that was just my "spidey senses" telling me that they would randomly pop back up into my life again before I leave. Or I thought that was my mind's way of helping me let go of my past to move on to my future. I don't know what is was, but I dismissed it..

And then here comes my Dad. Calling me. Talking all jolly as if nothing had happened between us. He called me his "baby" and asked me to send a picture to his phone and he would send me a picture of the ship he was on: The USS Enterprise.

We talked about me going to bootcamp (he made a mean ass comment about my weight. But whatever. I'm brushing off all bullshit), the Navy, my Mom, and other things. I was dumbfounded. I think he even told me he loved me. I was too dazed to realize.

When we hung up the phone, I cried. Not too much. Just a little. I was so shaken up. His calling me was too much. I had to call my sister on my Mother's side, the one I grew up with (we have different fathers) to talk about this. I was about to explode.
After all these years, all this hurt and him disowning me, RIGHT before I leave for a new Life, my estranged Dad calls me. My past came back to haunt me. It was an emotional experience. And words still fail me now..

It was like he knew I was about to leave. It was like something told him to call me after 8 months of not speaking. And he was so happy and proud. And I have no idea why. I cannot figure out my dad at all, but this was just odd.. It was as if nothing happened.

Maybe he feels guilty? I don't know. But we made plans to call each other before I go. Not SEE each other, but call..

I can do that, I guess.
Wow..

Now, if you excuse me, I am done crying and reliving my not so distant past. I'm going to the movies on this last Friday night at home:)

~Sailor Taylor

Butterflies and Such

I have, realistically speaking, about 3 and a half days until I head to the hotel. And I am finally starting to feel a tiny sensation of butterflies.
Before I wasn't. Before, these last few days were just like any other.
It wasn't until I FINALLY decided to plan a going away dinner, send out text messages, and post a Facebook event that I started to feel a little giddy.
This is finally happening:)

I really didn't want to have a going away "function" because I was scared that would somehow jinx everything I have worked for. I'm superstitious like that. That's just how I am. When I am in a relationship, I don't like telling too many people because I am afraid something "bad" will happen. And if I ever get married, I am not having a huge wedding because I wouldn't want everyone all up in my business and happiness.
Y'all get what I'm sayin'? I have a serious Beyonce complex about keeping my happiness private in order to preserve it. This blog may seem like I put everything on front street, but I don't..

So me having a gathering was a big step for me. It still is. It's like I am finally accepting the fact that I am leaving. This is happening. Nothing is keeping me from going to bootcamp. Not my weight, not anything. This is real.
And now I am stressing about who will and will not show up. It's such a popularity contest and I never won those. I almost don't want to have this thing, but my aunt wanted me to. And I owe my limited amount of fam here in town a good-bye. And for those who don't show up, knowing my contract is for up to 8 years due to linguistics school, they can kiss my ass. That is a good indication of who are and are not my "real" friends. I am having a good time these last few days no matter what.. Sans excessive drinking and eating. That just makes you fat lol.

Oh, and get this.
My period started today.
Yep! So my ass is going to be bleeding and cramping my first few days at bootcamp. How fun.
I knew it was coming. I knew I would be pushing it, but I was hoping and PRAYING that it would hold off. I was hoping and praying that the stress of bootcamp would cause my cycle to stop those 9 weeks I will be at RTC. But nope!
Also, I bloat. BAD. So I will be cutting my salt and popping water pills like Skittles. The LAST thing I need is for my damned period to make me appear fat when I am not and affect my measurements and weight. Oh God! I hate this:(
Oh, and because my cycle started, that means I won't be getting laid right before I ship out. OH LAWD, WHY LAWD?!? I haven't had sex since my ex came home on Liberty from the Navy for the 4th of July holiday (I finally cut him off too. So we aren't talking anymore. It was a serious moment of weakness). So it has been over a month for me. And it won't be until at least another 9 weeks that I can possibly have sex again. And then who will I have it with? I won't know anybody! And I have to really KNOW a person to bang them.
*Le Sigh*
God doesn't want me fucking. Obviously. Ha!
Okay, I'm done..

Um, let's see.. What else?..

Okay, so I am thinking bootcamp will more than likely kick my ass. Mentally, I am about 2 thirds of the way prepared. I know the Sailor's Creed and I know the 11 General Orders of a Sentry in any order. I do need a better acquaintance of the Navy's history and I don't know the ranks and recognitions. I need to know that. Or at least have a good enough idea of them. I'm not feeling some over zealous officer making me do push-ups because I don't know just who the hell they are.

And I just may call everyone "sir" and "ma'am" initially because I am Southern and Momma raised me right. That's how we greet people down here. It's just good manners! That will be a hard habit to break..

But back to boot camp kicking my ass!
I am not where I need to be physically. I'm just not. I'm not horrible, but I will be made "stronger" while I am there. Lord, help me =/ I'm not where I used to be when I first enlisted and now I am working to get back to that point, and I will reach that point. But I don't want it to be at the expense of me getting held back in bootcamp because I wasn't physically up to par. I gotta push it once I get there to get out on my scheduled time and then head to linguistics school. These physical fitness and swimming tests freak me out. I just have to breath and DO IT. Period...

Hmm... I'm using this as an update blog. I'm just trying to make sure have covered all my bases..

Okay, so I started Neutrogena Skin iD. My sister gave me one of her extra kits since we have similar oily skin types. So far, it has dried my skin out to where it is now peeling, but my acne is almost gone! Lol. I was DESPERATE to try any and everything. My face is seriously looking bad, but this stuff is getting rid of the pimples. Now if I could only get rid of these acne marks:( I don't want to wear those horrible glasses in bootcamp and have bad acne and a scarred face. Ugh:(

Aaaaannnnnnd, lastly, even though I have 3.5 days left, I have started the Atkins diet. If I can somehow cut 5 lbs while on my cycle, right before I hit MEPS, I will be ecstatic. I workout everyday anyway, but that added push would always be appreciated. And after doing research on it, it sounds like a great idea for the short term and I totally get why cutting carbs aids in serious weight loss. I'm not sure about in the long run, but I should have been doing this weeks ago.
Oh well! There's no time like the present and I do love meat:)

So, in closing, I am excited about everything. I am still fighting my way through any bullshit and adversity I may face, whether it be water weight, acne, butterflies, or fitness troubles. But I got this. I am going to bootcamp on August 17th. I will not be afraid. I will fear not. I will be positive.
This is it.

Thank you, God.

~Sailor Taylor

What I Will Miss The Most..

..While I am in boot camp and beyond.

In some type of order:
-My Family

-My Mom

-Hanging out with my sister

-Seeing my 5 year old nephew and 2 year old niece grow up

-My Real Friends

-My cell phone:(

-Shenanigans!

-The Memphis heat

-Beer and alcohol

-Sex!

-The Beale Street blues

-The familiarity of Memphis, my home

-Fresh brewed sweet iced tea

-Fried fish

-Fried chicken

-Biscuits and white gravy (Mmm!)

-Happy Mexican (a popular restaurant)

-My Car

-Manicures

-Personal space

-Solitude

-My Piercings

-My contacts (I do NOT want to wear those BCGs!)

-Club Backstreet

-Dancing with drag queens and gay men

-Dating

-Hookah bars

-Late nights

-Facebook

-Blogging!

-Africa in April (a popular Memphis festival)

-Southern and country accents, hospitality, and mannerisms...

..And everything and everyone else that has made my life here in Memphis comfortable. There's just too much to list and my memory fails me at the moment.
But I'll be back. One day.

~Sailor Taylor

7

I have been a bit stressed and not feeling like writing, but I know I should for those who follow me. So here goes..

Today is August 8th, a Sunday. I leave August 17th, a Tuesday. I stop counting the days before I leave that Sunday, the 15th, the day before the Monday I go to the hotel. So according to my calculations, I have 7 days left.

7 days before my life forever changes.

And I am stressed as fuck.

I have this weird thing where I don't quite process traumatic things. I just keep going. I don't allow myself time to grieve or think about what just happened because I am afraid doing so will dishearten me. So I immediately go to Plan B.
And I guess you can say that is what I have done yet again.

You see, my "final" courtesy weigh-in went horribly. I gained ONE POUND and the woman who taped me had me at an EXTRA FIVE PERCENT BODY FAT!! How does ONE POUND EQUAL to 5 PERCENT body fat, I will never know. But it looks like in the span of about 2 weeks, I went from 30% body fat, which is great because I had a 6% cushion, to 35%, and only having a 1% cushion. Which really is no cushion at all.
Why I didn't get kicked out the Navy right then and there, I don't know. I should have disputed those damn measurements. That doesn't make any damn sense! All I can say is God keeps having my back, but why can't He have my STOMACH?? In no way am I complaining. I do realize, and always have, that I will have to fight for this career in the Navy, but I just want my weight "issue" to be over!

I still workout everyday, but I have turned into a compulsive eater as well. I don't eat as often as I should, I have about one big meal a day, and still eat after 6pm. Laxatives don't really work. They cause me to bloat and put on water weight.

I do stomach wraps and workout in layers to sweat and get my "core" temperature up, but nothing seems to work for me. I can look at my body and see the weight I have put on and I don't know what to do.

I have 8 days until I go back to MEPS and they do another mini physical in which they will weigh and measure me again. If I don't meet the requirements there, I WILL NOT go to boot camp..

I would just die. What else would I do? What else can I do? I would be a wreck.

So I can't let that happen.

I'm trying.. But.. I don't know what else to do. I'm afraid. I am so close and yet so far. I thought I would be rid of this shit by now. But I am not.

Ugh!

Today I am working out and running twice, once alone and then with my friend. That's all I can do. Just keep it up. And watch what I eat.

I keep calculating different measurements for myself, "just in case." I need to know what could possibly happen. And I need to never have that shitty woman measure me again. I am afraid, but I truly don't feel as though I will not go to boot camp. No matter what, I will not surpass 35%. Technically, I didn't get to 35% this last time. The damn woman measured too low on my hips (story of my life!). But this next time, this last time, will be different. I WILL pass the body fat measurements at MEPS and I WILL go to boot camp and I WILL pass every single body fat, physical, and mental test they have! I am NOT coming home without a uniform!

Woooo saaaa..
I am having an anxiety attack over here. Pray for me. God, be with me. I want this. I do. I just need a bit of help.

~Sailor Taylor

Let Me Just Say I Am Pissed..

I woke up this morning, not feeling like working out but reluctantly did so anyway. I slathered on more Preparation H and wrapped my stomach with my stomach band, but this time I put the band directly on my skin. Not on top of my tank. I then put on my usual sauna suit top and sweat shirt.

It was hella uncomfortable because the band was slipping and sliding all over my wet and slick skin. And the creamy white shit was everywhere. It was very messy. It wouldn't stay put and it was wrecking my nerves.

And, mind you, while I am working out I am not drinking any water. And I didn't drink any water when I woke up this morning either because I was scared I would bloat.
So I am essentially dehydrating myself again for this weigh-in because also took another fucking laxative.

Oh, and get this. The Prep H did not burn. My skin did not look or feel any different either. I think it was a waste.

Aaaaaaaand theeeeeen guess what happened? I didn't hear from my recruiter. I felt deep down like something was wrong. So I called him. And do you know what he told me?? He said he was doing training in OXFORD FUCKING MISSISSIPPI!!!

I ASKED this man DAYS ago if he would be able to take me to my final weigh-in (because otherwise I would make my own arrangements) and he said YES, he would be able to, knowing damn well he had training! He said he thought he would have been back in town by now.
WHAT?!?
And who the HELL has training at the start of a new month?! Your ass needs to be in that fucking office recruiting next months quota, damnit!
Uuuuuugh! I HATE having to depend on people. I HATE not having my damn car. And I hate, hate, HATE this.

I did ALL that uncomfortable pre-weigh-in shit for nothing. Fuck!

My recruiter said that he would get me tomorrow for my weigh-in. Well guess what?
I don't wanna do it. I don't. I am pissed, sulking, and defeated and I don't wanna do another damned uncomfortable weigh-in before I ship out in THIRTEEN DAYS.
I just don't.
So there!
And the weight I am now is the weight I will be when I ship out and there is nothing that can be done. I am within the requirements so what more do they want from me??

Ugh. Fuck this.
I'm going to go eat. I'm fucking starving.
Mel Gibson rant over.
Shit.



~Sailor Taylor

Butt Cream Remedies

As I type this in a state of insomnia, I am laying on my sister's couch with Preparation H slathered all over my stomach and sides with my stomach band wrapped snugly around me. Sounds crazy, but this is my newest pre-weigh-in gimmick.
I have not had the best workouts lately and I have been over eating. I don't know if my body is tired or has reached a plateau or what, but I feel as if I have not made significant progress with my weight this final weigh-in. If anything, I have maintained weight and haven't lost any, and that's not good.

So, with that being the case, I have once again resorted to gimmicks to give me the push that I need. I took a laxative, diuretics, and am now doing this damn Preparation H thing.

You see, Preparation H draws out water in skin (or so I have been told), and tightens it up. I have heard of male clubbers rubbing this hemorrhoid cream all over their muscles because it somehow irritates the skin and makes their muscles swell and look bigger, so I was certain putting this stuff on my stomach would not give me the desired effects. But after googling around a bit, I saw that people have been rubbing this cream on themselves and then wrapping their stomachs in plastic wrap to sweat out any water in their mid-section area. I read where this one guy did this remedy and then went cycling while wrapped up and quickly lost the weight he needed in order to be eligible for the Navy. And on Facebook, a girl on my friend's list who is in Navy Dep in another city used Preparation H as well. But she used it at night as opposed to working out with it on. She said it kept her up because it burned. So.. Obviously that means it is working, right?? The skin is irritated and the water is being drawn out.. Right? Sounded right to me!
So the very next day I went out and got some Prep H.

And I feel NOTHING. I mean, true, I am sweating/moist (don't you just hate that word? Ew.), but I don't have any skin irritation. So does this mean it is not working for me? Oh, God, I REALLY need this to work for me! My weigh-in is in a few hours!

So tomorrow before I head to MEPS, I am going to put this crap on again in addition to my full, hot ass workout gear and workout. I don't quite know what workout I will do tomorrow but it will have to be hard core for me to get the "maximum" effects. And the bad part is while I workout, I won't be able to drink any water(or drink water after I workout for that matter) and afterwards, I don't think I can get my skin wet or all the effects will be reversed. So.. That means a Whore's Bath with a soapy wash cloth is my best bet.
Great.

But this is all for a cause, right? A little discomfort won't hurt! I'm just tired of these damn weigh-ins. Wake me when this is over:(

I'll let you all know how everything goes.

13 Days until boot camp.

~Sailor Taylor