Girl Talk! Skin and Hair

Sooo....

There is so much I could say and want to say because a good amount of things have taken place, but I just don't feel like it right now. Sorry. I will one day soon but at this very moment, I guess I need to let these things simmer and settle inside me before I share them with the world. It's hard to explain, but a lot of times I just don't feel like talking or typing right after things take place. This is kinda one of those times. And I say kinda because I do feel like talking, just not about anything too deep or that would take up too much time.

So I'm going to talk about my hair and skin! :)

So my shaven head of hair has grown into a TWA: a teenie weenie afro, for all you non-natural readers. It's about a 4th of an inch long. Not even half... Well, maybe half an inch. But barely.
Anyway, I don't comb it, I just slather Murray's pomade on it and maybe some Let's Jam hair gel(which I don't really like because it has the wrong, watery consistency and I'm sure alcohol in it as well) with raw shea butter. Oh! And I started using this organic, all natural stuff called SheaMoisture today too. I'm happy to see how that works out in my hair..
But all that stuff moisturizes it and allows it to clump together and curl up. It's cute:) But, as usual, I was getting restless and got it lined up today. My edges were looking a tiny bit rough, though. And now they look better. Neater. It's not a huge difference, and it shouldn't be. It was just a little clean up to my appearance. But I will certainly be happy when it really starts GROWING. But patience is a virtue;( And I will say that I was happy when a co-worker and customer noticed it was growing. So yay to that:)

Okay! So, I went back and forth with Selsun Blue because I was *determined* to get this stuff to work. I figured out that if I mixed it with Clean and Clear Advantage, scrubbed off the dead/ peeling skin with apricot scrub once a week, and use a bleaching facial cream day and especially at night, it works! Lol. That's kinda a lot, but it works for me. Because I was DESPERATE for a "cure" to my acne, even though there is literally no cure for acne, just like the common cold:(
But so far everything seems to be working fine and dandy. I still have some acne, but it is way better than what it was. And I still have dark spots but those will eventually go away with time and my bleaching/toning cream. They always do. So between this and guzzling down water, I'm good:) Oh, and I stopped taking all those damn vitamins. There were breaking me out, I know. And they made my pee strong. So not cute:(

But that's enough for now! I didn't even mean to write this much, lol. But whatever.
Toodles!

~Sailor Taylor

'Cause I'm a Bad Woman; I'm Not Afraid to Show It

I live in a land that is still ridden with a 400 year old institution called Slavery. I live in a land of ignorance, homophobia, and unacceptance. And in this land, I live my life looking and acting the way I do.

My breasts are average at 36C. My waist is small at 29 inches compared to my 41 inch hips. I get hollered at whether I am running along side the Mississippi or shopping for tampons. But that is simply because my hips don't lie about my child-bearing potential.

But I am brown skinned (some would even say dark skinned) woman in a place that praises light skin and "mixed"/ biracial women. I had natural hair and rocked a fro' until I shaved my head and started sportin' a Caesar. Now I am "bald" in Memphis where my Black people celebrate weave, "Barbies" and Eurocentric standards of beauty that were never meant to those who stem from Afrika.

I speak well with an unintelligible dialect, unlike those around me. A child of Orange Mound and The Hood, I did not let my surroundings of circumstances define me. Now I am unique because I "talk white." It has become a part of what makes my special.

I remain childless, single, well-spoken, educated, and a future service woman when those around me are having children out of wed lock, dropping out of school, and going from man to man, subconsciously searching for someone to fill the hole Daddy left.

But here I am: bold, eccentric, and beautifully human in a place that upholds none of who I am. I am proud of myself. I am proud of my brown skin and lack of hair. I am proud I know Who I Am in a time when others don't. I know many will not even look my way because of who God called me to be, but I don't need them because I am confident in myself. I love my big hips that sing a song, my large forehead catches the eye, shaved head that shows my confidence, busy lifestyle and natural beauty that does not need enhancement, and my brown skin that hails West Afrika and none of Massa.

My kind is not popular and I don't give a damn. I truly love me. I know I am exquisite, flaws and all. And yet I still accept criticism. I love my body and the muscle tone that is slowly showing through exercise. I love my quirky personality and stubbornness, my thirst for knowledge and resilience. I love ME.

So even when I run across someone who does not enjoy me for who I am, I know the issue is with that person and their own internal battles. And I have come across a certain someone that stands out in my mind who has an issue with self hatred and only seriously dates light skinned, "good-haired" women. But that is because he basically wants his future children to pass the Paper Bag and Hair Grade Test. Bless his poor Toby soul. But even in all that, I am still someone that he is drawn to time and time again. It just can't be helped:)

I am proud of myself and how far I have come. I was a mess before. It's been a long time coming and I am not done yet. But I look at other women and see their lack of confidence, dependence on weave and outer physical enhancements and I am not jealous. I pity them. And I celebrate me. I'm not cocky, but giving praise where praise is due. I thank God for my confidence:)

~*Pie*