Musings on Marriage

If I am SuperGirl, well on my way to becoming SuperWoman, then marriage and children are surely my Kryptonite.

Some women only want to fall in love, marry, have children and live happily ever after. And then there are some who are more career-minded, but somehow still want what their feminine, maternal instincts beckon.

I want none of that. My flesh crawls and curtles at the very notion of anything that is traditionally dictated by my gender. I simply want to be a successful Sailor. And, with God's Blessing upon my life, I have sowed the first seeds for that to occur. And that is what I wake up to every morning and cuddle with every night.

The notion that I could fall in love, get married, lose my ambitions and become a lowly wife, submitting to a man, "the man of the house", scares the living shit out of me. I don't want that! Not now. Not for another 8 years or so.

I think it is perfectly fine to not have a "family" until I am in my 30s. I just don't like the on going trend of getting married and poppin' out kids by the age of 21. Who does that anyway??

Wait, you know who does that? Military couples. And that has got to be the most unwise thing I have ever witnessed. Yes, I know service people get lonely and want someone to come back home to. That is all fine, dandy and human. But to actually go out and marry someone you barely know?? Or, hell, know very well! Absence does make the heart grow fonder, but it also makes you want to fuck. Plain and simple. The divorce rate is, what, 50%?? And people want to add to that, ignorantly thinking "oh, we'll be different!" God, bless your poor souls. I thought the same way once.

And then, as I was browsing blogs, I found one from a young military wife that stated "they say this is, after all, the hardest job to have." The "hardest job" being that of a civilian who is married to a military service person, or a military wife, plain and fuckin simple.

But I mean really? REALLY?? Really now? You have it so damn hard because you CHOSE to marry someone who will not be there over half of the time? All you do is sit there and be lonely and bitch and moan and then hit up Craigslist for someone to "hold you over" while your spouse, the one with the REAL hard job, goes out there and risks it all. All YOU did was fall in love and wait, not fight for this country.

Okay, sorry to ramble like that. Whew! Lol. But my point is that marriage, children, family, all of that, is just not appealing to me. Not in the least bit. Not at all. I run from it like vampires run from the sun. Just no. Hell no. I don't know what causes me to have such an irrational, unbridled hatred for such an institution as marriage, but that is how I feel. Maybe it's the fact I know what my expected "role" will be as a woman. Maybe it's because I don't want to settle and be chained down. And maybe it's because I am mature enough to know I don't want to be a wife and would therefore make a horrible mother and spouse.

But I see how people's lives have been drastically altered because they "fell in love." And if love does that, then I don't want it. And as of now, God has not presented me with love outside of Ladarrius, which was a necessary evil to get my life in the Navy direction. God knows that love would distract me and take me off my path. I'm meant for Greatness. And what would the point of meeting "The One" right now if I am not ready, anyway? I would fuck up a good thing.

So, no I don't want any of that. And I don't want my spouse to cheat on me while I'm away, which happens PLENTY of times with military couples. Nothing about marriage is attractive to me. It's almost hard to articulate how I feel but I guess I have done a good enough job for now:) Hopefully yall get my meaning??

~*Pie*