..And Not A Man In Sight.

When I enlisted and realized I would be stuck in this shit-hole town for about 7 months just WAITING to ship out, I decided I would date around. Why not? I was single, free, vibrant, and eventually I got financially on my feet. But my dating would be nothing serious, just something fun to "hold me over." I knew a serious relationship would be detrimental for me and I didn't want to drag anyone along once I left (I've been in that position and it HURTS), so "casual" was the way to go.
And then I met Alec and he, well, turned out to be crazy. Ape shit crazy. Oops.

So, after that unexpected and horrid encounter, I got back into the dating game with a vengeance.
Or so I thought.
I have not been able to meet a single new man worth dating or, hell, even my text messages. I try. I put it out there, whatever "it" is and I get nothing in return. Nothing but crazies, nobodies, and nothings.
I thought I would have one of those hot, steamy, epic summer romances that fizzles out just in time at the end of the summer. I thought I would meet my summer guy. Just one. One was all I needed. I thought I would have a summer relationship and get my groove back and be jump started for boot camp. But nope! Not at all. My ass is still very single in every sense of the word.
I mean, I can understand The Man Upstairs not wanting me to get distracted and I haven't.. For the most part (I have gained weight, so I guess my distraction would be food??), but this is insane. Never have I gone through a dry spell like this. Sure, I get out and hang with the few token friends I do have, but that's about it. I don't date. I CAN'T date. I've tried:( But hell, I barely even have sex. And that is what hurts my feelings most of all:( I need my Vitamin D!

So, here I am with two months left and I am lonely as shit. I just wanted someone to hold me as I sleep. Someone to do things with.. I haven't had that feeling since my ex. And I miss that. A lot. But I am giving up hope. What's the point of hanging on? You know, it always was a fear that I would meet someone and fall madly in love but now I see what an irrational fear that was! I have to actually meet someone for that to happen..

Shit. Well, guess I'll turn my attentions to other things.. As if I haven't been doing that already. Damn.

~Sailor Taylor

P.S. Oh, and I just looooove when men tell me "Oh, I can't believe you're single!" Shit, son, I just AM! Leave it be! Stop rubbing it in! Hell! Ugh.