It was a bitter sweet moment, but I had to do it. She was the last thing tying me to Memphis.
I sold me car for far less than I intended, but I am now that much richer. The car salesman was very greasy and sleazy, I might add. Dealing with him made my choice so much harder.
Oh, and would you believe the day before I sold my car some ass heads STOLE a tire off my poor car in the night?! I came out to get the VIN number and there I saw it: the driver side was jacked up and the front wheel was gone. Apparently, these despicable people had been watching me and saw my car had been sitting there. So they targeted me and took my tire for its rim.
But know this: Any and every time someone takes what is NOT theirs, they WILL be cursed with misfortune. God will have his vengeance.
But, with my car being sold, that is money I have to put food on my sister's table (since I am staying here), 3 months of storage paid off, and funding for this weekend (par-tay!) and my going away dinner. So, while this it bittersweet (she was my first car!), it was needed.
I will miss my baby.
"..As we go on
We remember
All the times we
Had together
And as our lives change
Come whatever
We will still be
Friends forever.."
*Sigh*
~Sailor Taylor
Friday, July 30, 2010
Thursday, July 29, 2010
The Nightmare That Plague Me
**This is an old post that I thought I had lost. Turns out it was saved as a draft. Yay:) **
This morning, as I attempted to sleep in the wee hours, I experienced disturbing nightmares. I was truly exhausted; my sleep was deep. And because it was, I could not shake myself from what my subconscious mind was telling me was real. I felt this dream. I felt myself desperately wanting to wake up. The mental anguish was there, and yet, I stayed asleep.
I dreamed about losing my teeth. It was graphic, exaggerated, and nonetheless felt very real. My teeth crumbled, fell out, bleed, and frothed and foamed as the exposed marrow could be seen. And as frightening as losing one's teeth in a dream is, it is not new. It is quite average, actually. And seeing as how I am interested in dreams and their interpretations, I had to blog about this particularly gruesome experience. I hardly dream, or shall I say remember my dreams, so when I do, and when they are this vivid and disturbing, I know they are trying to tell me something and cannot, must not, be ignored. It is said that God speaks, but twice in a dream. He has something to tell me.
This is what I found online.
"The next time you dream about losing teeth, before trying to figure out what it means, ask yourself how the dream made you feel. Oftentimes, it is not the dream of the teeth falling out that creates the disturbance to the psyche but the feelings that accompany the dream. There is often a feeling of helplessness, of powerlessness--the teeth are coming out and there is nothing the dreamer can do to stop the process. Sometimes teeth fall out, sometimes they are simply missing, sometimes they crumble away. Whichever way they make their exit, the dreamer is left with not only a gap in her smile, but a hole in her heart when she awakens.
If feelings of loss of control, helplessness or powerlessness accompany your tooth loss dream, the dream is typically acting as a mirror of a situation in waking life. Dreams of tooth loss coupled with anxiety reflect a fear of change, fear of transition. Ask yourself if there is some transition that you are fearful of making.
Sometimes tooth loss dreams point to a fear of failure or embarrassment. In waking life, when people lose teeth, they often cover their mouths when talking or smiling. Is there something you want to do but are afraid of undertaking because you fear you'll look foolish if you fail? Or is there something going on in your waking life that you feel you must hide or 'cover up'?"
After all I have been through these past several days, I just blocked everything out. I didn't really bother with dealing with what had happened to me. I just went with it. And now my mind, my God, is trying to tell me that I need to sit down and process what has happened to me. Often times I just push bad things to the back of my head and don't focus on them. It's too painful. And now even when I sleep I am plagued by negativity.
Truthfully, I am afraid. I have a bold, new life ahead of me that I cannot really process because I don't know how to process it. I don't know what to expect when I get to boot camp. This is an entirely new life that I have only dreamed and watched movies about. I always wanted this, but was a bit afraid. And now I have it. It is rushing towards me and I am excited and secretly freaking out. And every time we as human beings are faced with the unknown, we are afraid of it. I am no different. And, even deeper down in me, I am afraid of failure. I will lose everything and have nothing to come home to if I fail. My Life has cleaned itself out, so I have to rebuild a new one with the Navy. But perhaps because my Life has cleaned itself out, this is God's way of telling me that I will be and already am victorious in my endeavours. I pray so! So I must pass these tests I have set before myself. I will face this head on. My future is dependent upon it.
Something else I found on the net said this:
"Teeth are used to bite, tear, chew and gnaw. In this regard, teeth represent power. And the loss of teeth in your dream may be from a sense of powerlessness. Are you lacking power in some current situation?"
I can definitely attest to feeling powerless and not having control. I was powerless with every negative thing that has happened to me in the past few days. I couldn't do anything but just "go with it." Which is why I am having these nightmares now. Because I have not fully thought my life out. I have not completely thought about where I am and where I am going. I don't want to. Because this sucks. But, apparently, I must. And so I shall.
Later.
~Sailor Taylor
This morning, as I attempted to sleep in the wee hours, I experienced disturbing nightmares. I was truly exhausted; my sleep was deep. And because it was, I could not shake myself from what my subconscious mind was telling me was real. I felt this dream. I felt myself desperately wanting to wake up. The mental anguish was there, and yet, I stayed asleep.
I dreamed about losing my teeth. It was graphic, exaggerated, and nonetheless felt very real. My teeth crumbled, fell out, bleed, and frothed and foamed as the exposed marrow could be seen. And as frightening as losing one's teeth in a dream is, it is not new. It is quite average, actually. And seeing as how I am interested in dreams and their interpretations, I had to blog about this particularly gruesome experience. I hardly dream, or shall I say remember my dreams, so when I do, and when they are this vivid and disturbing, I know they are trying to tell me something and cannot, must not, be ignored. It is said that God speaks, but twice in a dream. He has something to tell me.
This is what I found online.
"The next time you dream about losing teeth, before trying to figure out what it means, ask yourself how the dream made you feel. Oftentimes, it is not the dream of the teeth falling out that creates the disturbance to the psyche but the feelings that accompany the dream. There is often a feeling of helplessness, of powerlessness--the teeth are coming out and there is nothing the dreamer can do to stop the process. Sometimes teeth fall out, sometimes they are simply missing, sometimes they crumble away. Whichever way they make their exit, the dreamer is left with not only a gap in her smile, but a hole in her heart when she awakens.
If feelings of loss of control, helplessness or powerlessness accompany your tooth loss dream, the dream is typically acting as a mirror of a situation in waking life. Dreams of tooth loss coupled with anxiety reflect a fear of change, fear of transition. Ask yourself if there is some transition that you are fearful of making.
Sometimes tooth loss dreams point to a fear of failure or embarrassment. In waking life, when people lose teeth, they often cover their mouths when talking or smiling. Is there something you want to do but are afraid of undertaking because you fear you'll look foolish if you fail? Or is there something going on in your waking life that you feel you must hide or 'cover up'?"
After all I have been through these past several days, I just blocked everything out. I didn't really bother with dealing with what had happened to me. I just went with it. And now my mind, my God, is trying to tell me that I need to sit down and process what has happened to me. Often times I just push bad things to the back of my head and don't focus on them. It's too painful. And now even when I sleep I am plagued by negativity.
Truthfully, I am afraid. I have a bold, new life ahead of me that I cannot really process because I don't know how to process it. I don't know what to expect when I get to boot camp. This is an entirely new life that I have only dreamed and watched movies about. I always wanted this, but was a bit afraid. And now I have it. It is rushing towards me and I am excited and secretly freaking out. And every time we as human beings are faced with the unknown, we are afraid of it. I am no different. And, even deeper down in me, I am afraid of failure. I will lose everything and have nothing to come home to if I fail. My Life has cleaned itself out, so I have to rebuild a new one with the Navy. But perhaps because my Life has cleaned itself out, this is God's way of telling me that I will be and already am victorious in my endeavours. I pray so! So I must pass these tests I have set before myself. I will face this head on. My future is dependent upon it.
Something else I found on the net said this:
"Teeth are used to bite, tear, chew and gnaw. In this regard, teeth represent power. And the loss of teeth in your dream may be from a sense of powerlessness. Are you lacking power in some current situation?"
I can definitely attest to feeling powerless and not having control. I was powerless with every negative thing that has happened to me in the past few days. I couldn't do anything but just "go with it." Which is why I am having these nightmares now. Because I have not fully thought my life out. I have not completely thought about where I am and where I am going. I don't want to. Because this sucks. But, apparently, I must. And so I shall.
Later.
~Sailor Taylor
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Recent Navy Happenings..
I talked to my recruiter today.
My IFA, or Initial Fitness Assessment, that I must do before I go to boot camp has been taken care of.
My recruiter and I are due to workout together some time this week or this weekend since he lives right down the street from me. Yeah, right. It's almost a little late for that don't you think? And where have I heard this ongoing lie before? Yeah. Exactly.
My next and final weigh-in before I go to boot camp is August 2nd, this coming Monday. My recruiter said he would come and get me and for that I am thankful because I now live on the other side of town from where my recruiting office and MEPS is. Were he not coming to get me, this may not have been possible.
I still have yet to call the new chief and check in with him. I suck, I know.
I workout 6 days a week now. Sunday is my off day. I was nervous that I would not be able to work out in my sister's apartment complex's fitness room but things worked out. I just walked my ass in and started working out like I lived there lol. And they have never questioned me:)
I seem to have lost weight, but I cannot really tell because I am so critical of myself and look at myself daily. Someone else may be able to see what I can not. Hopefully my progress will show at this next weigh-in. According to the fitness room scale, with my shoes off, clothes on and dripping wet with sweat from my workout, I weigh about 167. That is what I weighed at my last weigh-in and I was in a bra and panties when that was taken. So hopefully I weigh even less than that when I take my clothes off:) And my waist is about 29.5 inches; down from the 30 inches it was before. Now let's just pray that my measurements will be taken correctly this last go around, for there is massive room for error with these things. But we will find out this Monday.
I started back jogging again last week I think it was and today I was full out running on the treadmill. Time to get back at it. My only issue is me getting bored with it. My breathing and stamina seem to be fine. My mind is the only thing stopping me.
And my shin is fine, for those of you wondering:) I ice it down and massage it with Tiger Balm every night in perparation for the next day's run. I am carefuk with how I place my foot when I run as well. That matters a lot. And I don't run on concrete or hard surfaces.
My shin bone feels very lumpy and uneven, and I am sure that is from it healing itself from the splints and fractures I had. But at least it is healed:)
And I still layer it up in my stomach band, sauna/ fat boy suit, and sweat shirt when I work out. The only difference is I don't wear the sauna pants anymore. I just cannot do it anymore lol.
Annnnd that is about it. Not much is going on with me since I am unemployed and trapped in the house for the most part. But I will have more to tell later on.
Toddles!
~Sailor Taylor
My IFA, or Initial Fitness Assessment, that I must do before I go to boot camp has been taken care of.
My recruiter and I are due to workout together some time this week or this weekend since he lives right down the street from me. Yeah, right. It's almost a little late for that don't you think? And where have I heard this ongoing lie before? Yeah. Exactly.
My next and final weigh-in before I go to boot camp is August 2nd, this coming Monday. My recruiter said he would come and get me and for that I am thankful because I now live on the other side of town from where my recruiting office and MEPS is. Were he not coming to get me, this may not have been possible.
I still have yet to call the new chief and check in with him. I suck, I know.
I workout 6 days a week now. Sunday is my off day. I was nervous that I would not be able to work out in my sister's apartment complex's fitness room but things worked out. I just walked my ass in and started working out like I lived there lol. And they have never questioned me:)
I seem to have lost weight, but I cannot really tell because I am so critical of myself and look at myself daily. Someone else may be able to see what I can not. Hopefully my progress will show at this next weigh-in. According to the fitness room scale, with my shoes off, clothes on and dripping wet with sweat from my workout, I weigh about 167. That is what I weighed at my last weigh-in and I was in a bra and panties when that was taken. So hopefully I weigh even less than that when I take my clothes off:) And my waist is about 29.5 inches; down from the 30 inches it was before. Now let's just pray that my measurements will be taken correctly this last go around, for there is massive room for error with these things. But we will find out this Monday.
I started back jogging again last week I think it was and today I was full out running on the treadmill. Time to get back at it. My only issue is me getting bored with it. My breathing and stamina seem to be fine. My mind is the only thing stopping me.
And my shin is fine, for those of you wondering:) I ice it down and massage it with Tiger Balm every night in perparation for the next day's run. I am carefuk with how I place my foot when I run as well. That matters a lot. And I don't run on concrete or hard surfaces.
My shin bone feels very lumpy and uneven, and I am sure that is from it healing itself from the splints and fractures I had. But at least it is healed:)
And I still layer it up in my stomach band, sauna/ fat boy suit, and sweat shirt when I work out. The only difference is I don't wear the sauna pants anymore. I just cannot do it anymore lol.
Annnnd that is about it. Not much is going on with me since I am unemployed and trapped in the house for the most part. But I will have more to tell later on.
Toddles!
~Sailor Taylor
To Do List!
So... I typed this earlier and then the damn computer lost power right as I was about to press "publish post" and I lost EVERYTHING. Needless to say, I am pissed. So this is an abbreviated posting of what would have been before. Sorry:(
Anyhoe! I have 2 weeks and 5 days left until I get to that hotel and begin a new life. And what do I have to do before then?
A lot.
Memorize the General Orders of a Sentry and the different Ranks. I'm late. I know. But what would you do if you had 7 months to wait? Become lazy. Exactly. And besides, I perform well under pressure.. But I do hate studying;( I just have to get in the mindset to do it.. Bleh!
Clean and sell my car.
My poor baby love;( As much as we have been through together, it is time to let her go. She was my last comfort zone tying me to home. I just cannot afford to repair her. And I am surviving without her, so I will sell my lil Nelly Bell. That will be much needed money in my account and funding for my will debauchery my last weekend in Memphis:) My recruiter said that he would buy her off of me but he don't want this damn car lol. She will be more suited for parts and the chop shop:(
Continue to downsize.
I still have tons of crap that I need to throw out but won't because I am "using" it (at least that's what I tell myself) or it is a comfort blanket for me. No one wants to throw out everything they have and own just to start all over again. But that is what I must do.
Get an address book and addresses.
I have to figure out what token few of friends I actually want to hear from in boot camp. And then get their addresses and transfer them to a little black book. Simple as that.
Plan and have my going away function.
At the request of my dear Aunt and my own reasoning, I will be having a going away "gathering." Not a party, because that requires too much crap and not that many people will be invited. But I will be having a dinner type thing at an on and poppin' Mexican restaurant here in town. Invites will be sent out via Facebook and text messages. You know how we do in the 2010, lol..
Well, that's all I got for now. More later:)
I am excited.
~Sailor Taylor
Anyhoe! I have 2 weeks and 5 days left until I get to that hotel and begin a new life. And what do I have to do before then?
A lot.
Memorize the General Orders of a Sentry and the different Ranks. I'm late. I know. But what would you do if you had 7 months to wait? Become lazy. Exactly. And besides, I perform well under pressure.. But I do hate studying;( I just have to get in the mindset to do it.. Bleh!
Clean and sell my car.
My poor baby love;( As much as we have been through together, it is time to let her go. She was my last comfort zone tying me to home. I just cannot afford to repair her. And I am surviving without her, so I will sell my lil Nelly Bell. That will be much needed money in my account and funding for my will debauchery my last weekend in Memphis:) My recruiter said that he would buy her off of me but he don't want this damn car lol. She will be more suited for parts and the chop shop:(
Continue to downsize.
I still have tons of crap that I need to throw out but won't because I am "using" it (at least that's what I tell myself) or it is a comfort blanket for me. No one wants to throw out everything they have and own just to start all over again. But that is what I must do.
Get an address book and addresses.
I have to figure out what token few of friends I actually want to hear from in boot camp. And then get their addresses and transfer them to a little black book. Simple as that.
Plan and have my going away function.
At the request of my dear Aunt and my own reasoning, I will be having a going away "gathering." Not a party, because that requires too much crap and not that many people will be invited. But I will be having a dinner type thing at an on and poppin' Mexican restaurant here in town. Invites will be sent out via Facebook and text messages. You know how we do in the 2010, lol..
Well, that's all I got for now. More later:)
I am excited.
~Sailor Taylor
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Military Men, I Bid You Adieu
I will keep this short and sweet.
It is with a fire that smolders deep within me that I write this. For I have had enough.
Of all the military men I have dated, all have ended with the mistreatment of me and my finding out about their various other women via the internet. They know nothing about me and honestly think they are the only ones.
The internet will give you away every single time.
And to this I say I am done. No longer will men of the military have their way with my heart. I have had enough of the hurt, the lying, and the dishonesty.
I have no idea how this will work as I begin my own military career, but I have to heal myself. I'm just tired of their foolishness.
Who knows? Maybe I will be so consumed with my cryptological studies that all I will want and have time for will be a simple romp in the hay. Pure sexual satisfaction. And I suppose that will be enough during that period of my life.
But what I truly want, deep down inside, is a meaningful relationship: something I have not had in almost 3 years.
True, with me leaving a relationship has not been at the top of my doable priorities list these past few months. But I am ready. And I am disgusted with the shenanigans of those men who don a uniform.
So, until my future pans out, I am locking my vulnerability far deep and far away and I bid military men adieu.
I'm throwing them deuces.
~Sailor Taylor
It is with a fire that smolders deep within me that I write this. For I have had enough.
Of all the military men I have dated, all have ended with the mistreatment of me and my finding out about their various other women via the internet. They know nothing about me and honestly think they are the only ones.
The internet will give you away every single time.
And to this I say I am done. No longer will men of the military have their way with my heart. I have had enough of the hurt, the lying, and the dishonesty.
I have no idea how this will work as I begin my own military career, but I have to heal myself. I'm just tired of their foolishness.
Who knows? Maybe I will be so consumed with my cryptological studies that all I will want and have time for will be a simple romp in the hay. Pure sexual satisfaction. And I suppose that will be enough during that period of my life.
But what I truly want, deep down inside, is a meaningful relationship: something I have not had in almost 3 years.
True, with me leaving a relationship has not been at the top of my doable priorities list these past few months. But I am ready. And I am disgusted with the shenanigans of those men who don a uniform.
So, until my future pans out, I am locking my vulnerability far deep and far away and I bid military men adieu.
I'm throwing them deuces.
~Sailor Taylor
Like Watching Paint Dry
Y'all, I am so bored. Bored out my ever, loving MIND.
I am so use to running the streets and always being on the go. I was always planning and plotting my next move because I hated being bored and hated where I was living. So I had to be out and stay out for the most part.
And now all of that has changed. Now I just sit here. Day in and day out, I sit. I workout 6 days a week and that's the only time I get out the house: to walk to the complex's fitness room and have a 2 hour workout.
After that I come back "home" and eat, drink something alcoholic, and sleep. Then I wake up and watch TV. And then I do it all over again the next day and the next and the next day..
I'm scared of getting fat:( Before, I was working and on the move. I was so active. And now I'm not. I am *so close* and have come *so far* and I am in danger of blowing up again. I feel like my stomach is bloated and no amount diuretics or laxatives will help me. I feel so fat. So I have got to get myself back on track. The high intensity workouts with resistance training are there, but the proper eating and drinking is not. And that is because I have acquired those bad habits again while I sit here and do nothing.
According to the scale, I am slowing losing a little weight. But a tiny bit. And I don't want to trust that. I don't care what I weigh as long as my measurements are on point. I want to gain good, heavy muscle and tighten up so my waist will be tiny.. And my ass still fat. HA!
But I mean, I am so lazy and sedentary that I don't even want to study my General Orders or do anything.
Period.
My Senior Chief paid me to write another of his papers this past week and I didn't even want to do that. I mean, I did, but still.. I didn't want to. All I want to do is eat, drink, and sleep.
My zest for life seems to be gone. I am fading away while I wait on that fated day to come that I go to the hotel and then board the plane for boot camp. But I don't want to lose sight of my goals so that when it is time to ship out I am fat and unprepared..
Hell, if I'm fat then I'm not going anywhere anyway.
Help!
This coming week will be better. It has to be. I promise myself this.
More later.
~Sailor Taylor
I am so use to running the streets and always being on the go. I was always planning and plotting my next move because I hated being bored and hated where I was living. So I had to be out and stay out for the most part.
And now all of that has changed. Now I just sit here. Day in and day out, I sit. I workout 6 days a week and that's the only time I get out the house: to walk to the complex's fitness room and have a 2 hour workout.
After that I come back "home" and eat, drink something alcoholic, and sleep. Then I wake up and watch TV. And then I do it all over again the next day and the next and the next day..
I'm scared of getting fat:( Before, I was working and on the move. I was so active. And now I'm not. I am *so close* and have come *so far* and I am in danger of blowing up again. I feel like my stomach is bloated and no amount diuretics or laxatives will help me. I feel so fat. So I have got to get myself back on track. The high intensity workouts with resistance training are there, but the proper eating and drinking is not. And that is because I have acquired those bad habits again while I sit here and do nothing.
According to the scale, I am slowing losing a little weight. But a tiny bit. And I don't want to trust that. I don't care what I weigh as long as my measurements are on point. I want to gain good, heavy muscle and tighten up so my waist will be tiny.. And my ass still fat. HA!
But I mean, I am so lazy and sedentary that I don't even want to study my General Orders or do anything.
Period.
My Senior Chief paid me to write another of his papers this past week and I didn't even want to do that. I mean, I did, but still.. I didn't want to. All I want to do is eat, drink, and sleep.
My zest for life seems to be gone. I am fading away while I wait on that fated day to come that I go to the hotel and then board the plane for boot camp. But I don't want to lose sight of my goals so that when it is time to ship out I am fat and unprepared..
Hell, if I'm fat then I'm not going anywhere anyway.
Help!
This coming week will be better. It has to be. I promise myself this.
More later.
~Sailor Taylor
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Yǎnjīng de Lǎohǔ
This describes me to the T:)
"The Tiger, the living symbol of strength and power, generally inspires fear and respect. Tigers' compelling dynamism, intense activity, independence and curiosity about others make them irresistible, persons of multiple charms; Tigers attract followers and admirers. The Tiger has a regal quality and is courageous, active and self-assured; he makes an excellent leader and protector. Known for determination and charisma, the Tiger aims high and pursues goals with vigor, passion and daring. However liberal-minded Tigers may be, they are rash and resist the authority of others. Although they are selfish in the little things, they are capable of great generosity, even of altruism, in the larger. Tigers are men and women of action, thrust by destiny into the spotlight.
Tigers are fearless creatures in as much as they blind themselves to dangers and impetuously rush in where more cautious individuals would fear to tred. Outspoken in the face of injustice, their strong humanitarian instincts will not allow them to pass by if they see a wrong perpetrated upon another. They have a disdain for security and make a religion of change.
Tigers tend to renounce confining traditional roles, opting for a more unfettered life. With a wide ranging mind, they can adopt any number of careers. Their many experiences serve to enrich their life and add depth to their nature. Material benefits matter little to them.
Tigers have an inborn magnetic personality that attracts people to them like bees to honey. Warm-hearted, sociable and friendly, they are characterised by their frank, honest and open approach. Their immense kindness and generosity will always shine through except when crossed or backed into a corner, for then they can become vehement and ferocious.
Solitude is often the price Tigers pay for their position of authority, but they become accustomed to it. Better still, they draw on the experience, gaining new energies and great strength. However, this loner attitude and pride can sometimes prevent the Tiger from seeking other people's assistance when faced with an endeavor that calls for someone else's resources and talents.
Chinese say the life of a Tiger born at night will be less hectic than that of Tigers born after dawn and above all, those born around midday. It will be a stormy life full of dangers, but the Tiger will never be bored. Neither Night Tiger nor Day Tiger will have an easy life. The Western term for a particularly fierce woman is "dragon lady," but the Chinese call her an "old tiger lady." She has many expectations of her partners which can cause difficulties; she wants to dominate relationships because of her independent nature and desire to rule. A female Tiger won't submit willingly to the Confucian ideal of womanhood, which dictates that a daughter obey her father, a wife obey her husband, and an older woman obey her eldest son. For this reason some Chinese avoid having children in the Tiger Year -- for fear of having a daughter.
The lucky Tiger represents the greatest power on earth, and is the emblem of protection for human life. A Tiger in the house minimizes the Three Great Risks -- thieves, fire, and evil spirits. If there are two Tigers in the house, however, one of them has to go!
The Sexy Tiger
Tigers make ardent and virile lovers who dominate their partners. Because of their sensuality, their impetuousness and love of adventure, there is an excitement that not only follows Tigers wherever they go, but also guarantees them a certain irrestible sexy allure. These creatures whose emotions are out-front have strong libidos and are lusty in their passions. Generally flirtatious, they are especially prone to wild flings in their early years but do settle down as they get older. When committed to a happy and fulfilling relationship, Tigers make loving and caring partners, warm-hearted and generous. They don't, however, lose that romantic streak nor that exciting ability to surprise.
Encounters with the Horse and the Dragon will be especially interesting. Tigers will feel a definite affinity with the Dog and Boar but should avoid the Rabbit who could be too conservative or weak for him. The Monkey may be one of the worst possible mates for him, competing with him and refusing to compromise. Above all, beware of the Ox, who is stronger than the Tiger and will keep on attacking him until he is destroyed. If there is a Tiger and an Ox under the same roof the Tiger will have to quit before he is annihilated.
March is the month of the Tiger. The time of the Tiger is from 3:00 a.m. to 4:59 a.m.; their direction of orientation is east-northeast. The Tiger's color is green."
And my element is Fire;)
~Sailor Taylor
Resilience abounds..
"The Tiger, the living symbol of strength and power, generally inspires fear and respect. Tigers' compelling dynamism, intense activity, independence and curiosity about others make them irresistible, persons of multiple charms; Tigers attract followers and admirers. The Tiger has a regal quality and is courageous, active and self-assured; he makes an excellent leader and protector. Known for determination and charisma, the Tiger aims high and pursues goals with vigor, passion and daring. However liberal-minded Tigers may be, they are rash and resist the authority of others. Although they are selfish in the little things, they are capable of great generosity, even of altruism, in the larger. Tigers are men and women of action, thrust by destiny into the spotlight.
Tigers are fearless creatures in as much as they blind themselves to dangers and impetuously rush in where more cautious individuals would fear to tred. Outspoken in the face of injustice, their strong humanitarian instincts will not allow them to pass by if they see a wrong perpetrated upon another. They have a disdain for security and make a religion of change.
Tigers tend to renounce confining traditional roles, opting for a more unfettered life. With a wide ranging mind, they can adopt any number of careers. Their many experiences serve to enrich their life and add depth to their nature. Material benefits matter little to them.
Tigers have an inborn magnetic personality that attracts people to them like bees to honey. Warm-hearted, sociable and friendly, they are characterised by their frank, honest and open approach. Their immense kindness and generosity will always shine through except when crossed or backed into a corner, for then they can become vehement and ferocious.
Solitude is often the price Tigers pay for their position of authority, but they become accustomed to it. Better still, they draw on the experience, gaining new energies and great strength. However, this loner attitude and pride can sometimes prevent the Tiger from seeking other people's assistance when faced with an endeavor that calls for someone else's resources and talents.
Chinese say the life of a Tiger born at night will be less hectic than that of Tigers born after dawn and above all, those born around midday. It will be a stormy life full of dangers, but the Tiger will never be bored. Neither Night Tiger nor Day Tiger will have an easy life. The Western term for a particularly fierce woman is "dragon lady," but the Chinese call her an "old tiger lady." She has many expectations of her partners which can cause difficulties; she wants to dominate relationships because of her independent nature and desire to rule. A female Tiger won't submit willingly to the Confucian ideal of womanhood, which dictates that a daughter obey her father, a wife obey her husband, and an older woman obey her eldest son. For this reason some Chinese avoid having children in the Tiger Year -- for fear of having a daughter.
The lucky Tiger represents the greatest power on earth, and is the emblem of protection for human life. A Tiger in the house minimizes the Three Great Risks -- thieves, fire, and evil spirits. If there are two Tigers in the house, however, one of them has to go!
The Sexy Tiger
Tigers make ardent and virile lovers who dominate their partners. Because of their sensuality, their impetuousness and love of adventure, there is an excitement that not only follows Tigers wherever they go, but also guarantees them a certain irrestible sexy allure. These creatures whose emotions are out-front have strong libidos and are lusty in their passions. Generally flirtatious, they are especially prone to wild flings in their early years but do settle down as they get older. When committed to a happy and fulfilling relationship, Tigers make loving and caring partners, warm-hearted and generous. They don't, however, lose that romantic streak nor that exciting ability to surprise.
Encounters with the Horse and the Dragon will be especially interesting. Tigers will feel a definite affinity with the Dog and Boar but should avoid the Rabbit who could be too conservative or weak for him. The Monkey may be one of the worst possible mates for him, competing with him and refusing to compromise. Above all, beware of the Ox, who is stronger than the Tiger and will keep on attacking him until he is destroyed. If there is a Tiger and an Ox under the same roof the Tiger will have to quit before he is annihilated.
March is the month of the Tiger. The time of the Tiger is from 3:00 a.m. to 4:59 a.m.; their direction of orientation is east-northeast. The Tiger's color is green."
And my element is Fire;)
~Sailor Taylor
Resilience abounds..
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Rejected By My Surroundings..
This morning before my workout, my brother-in-law stated an interesting theory.
Simply paraphrasing, He said to not give up and feel discouraged..
And that my surroundings were rejecting me.
And it makes sense.
I have lost my job, my home (which was the closest thing I had to a comfort zone, be it as ghetto as it was), and my car. Everything has fallen, or shall I say fallen into place rather, to strip me of my Memphis comfort to prepare me for THE World. I have been rejected from this life in order to fully pass on to another. There is nothing here for me outside of my family and a few token friends. No roots, no ties to keep me grounded. It is as if my Armageddon has occurred. My flood is here. Noah is at the helm. And God is preparing to create a new time, a new land, and a new sense of being in which I am the Eve of the story.
And with that, I felt better. I felt rejuvenated. So much so that I felt a new drive to really push in this last stretch of Memphis existence. No proverbial walls will be hit here. They have already been torn down anyway.
~Sailor Taylor
Monday, July 19, 2010
Rock Bottom
This morning, on my way to a very nice neighborhood park to get my morning jog in, my brakes went out on my car. They literally fell OFF.
Thankfully, they were my front breaks because I was able to stop my car. Had the back ones gone out that would have been no bueno and I could have died in a horrible car crash.
The mechanic told me it would be $350 to fix my brakes, rotors, and calipers.
I told him to reassemble my car and I was going home...20 miles per hour with my flashers on and my sister trailing me.
Oh, and "home" being my sister's place. Because I for damn sure don't have a "home" right now.
And I do not have a car.
I don't have $350 to my name. And if I did, how would I afford to pay that and the storage costs for my car when I go to boot camp? I can't. I am broke and one stiletto away from dancing on a pole for dollars.
So I am going to sell it and pocket the money.
And I guess run up and down the side walk outside of my sister's complex.
Fitness is always on my mind.
Actually, my sister and her husband have a good friend who is a mechanic and they said they would call him and ask him if something else could be done..
But if not..
Then this is what rock bottom feels like. I have lost my job, my cash flow, my own living space, and my car in the span of less than a week.
I checked in with my recruiter this week and asked if I could be shipped out to boot camp early due to my dilemma and he said no. I would just have to wait..
I feel myself withering away. My life is upside down. What do I do with myself now?
I feel my appetite growing and my self getting bigger. I pray it is just monthly water weight, but I don't know. I am at wit's end and depressed.
What has become of me? I literally have nothing left but family and my health.
I want my old life back.
They say that right before great change comes great turmoil. And to that I ask God:
What did I do to deserve this?
~Sailor Taylor
Thankfully, they were my front breaks because I was able to stop my car. Had the back ones gone out that would have been no bueno and I could have died in a horrible car crash.
The mechanic told me it would be $350 to fix my brakes, rotors, and calipers.
I told him to reassemble my car and I was going home...20 miles per hour with my flashers on and my sister trailing me.
Oh, and "home" being my sister's place. Because I for damn sure don't have a "home" right now.
And I do not have a car.
I don't have $350 to my name. And if I did, how would I afford to pay that and the storage costs for my car when I go to boot camp? I can't. I am broke and one stiletto away from dancing on a pole for dollars.
So I am going to sell it and pocket the money.
And I guess run up and down the side walk outside of my sister's complex.
Fitness is always on my mind.
Actually, my sister and her husband have a good friend who is a mechanic and they said they would call him and ask him if something else could be done..
But if not..
Then this is what rock bottom feels like. I have lost my job, my cash flow, my own living space, and my car in the span of less than a week.
I checked in with my recruiter this week and asked if I could be shipped out to boot camp early due to my dilemma and he said no. I would just have to wait..
I feel myself withering away. My life is upside down. What do I do with myself now?
I feel my appetite growing and my self getting bigger. I pray it is just monthly water weight, but I don't know. I am at wit's end and depressed.
What has become of me? I literally have nothing left but family and my health.
I want my old life back.
They say that right before great change comes great turmoil. And to that I ask God:
What did I do to deserve this?
~Sailor Taylor
Sunday, July 18, 2010
How The Mighty Fall, Revisited
At PT this past Thursday, I got some interesting news from a fellow DEPper that was then confirmed by my recruiter.
Remember Elle, the former DEP-CO who I cannot stand? Well guess what?
She got kicked out of boot camp and, therefore, The United States Navy.
GAH-DAYUM!
It's one thing to be subjected to Karma's wrath, but to have THAT happen to you? Daaaaaaamn. She got kicked the fuck out the best Navy EVER! And it will forever be on her record for the rest of her LIFE. Wooooooow.
Damn. I'm speechless.
Yeah, sure, hateful people should "get what they deserve," which is what I was hoping would happen to Elle while she was in boot camp. You know, get whipped into a better person. She was horrible, just HORRIBLE. But I always thought they would "straighten her out" at RTC. And that was it. It never occurred to me that she just wouldn't make it through boot camp period. That's messed up!
But she was an awful person. Perhaps boot camp wasn't her punishment/karma, but getting kicked out at the very 1st step of the Navy when she thought she would make it to the ranks of Chief (HA!) and ultimately fail at life was her punishment. Hmmm! Something to think about, right?
But my recruiter said that she got kicked out (medical discharge) because of her legs (stress fracture/ shine splints due to her lazy ass never running at home) and attitude. He said it was one thing to be hurt and push through it and have determination, but another to whine and bitch and moan and give up. And I can totally see her lazy ass whining, bitching, and moaning about she couldn't possibly go on and have mercy on her in boot camp.. But that's just MY thinking.
So while I was shaken up to hear that she got kicked out the Navy/ boot camp and feared that I would suffer the same fate, I now know that I WILL NOT end up the same way.
Why?
Because I am a fighter. You can read my blogs, watch me workout out at 6:30am and loose 6 percent body fat in 2 weeks to know I am a fighter. I WANT this. I have given up TOO MUCH to not have this. I have too much on the line. My life is at stake!
Elle did not feel or act the same way. She was lazy and expected the rest of the world to kiss her ass and fall victim to her simple mind games like those around her and it didn't. The world did not bend and she broke.
But I am conditioning myself for the trials that face me and, baby, you WILL NOT see my black ass come back home without wearing a Sailor's uniform. Believe that. Lil Mama wants this too much!
Now, enough of blogging about someone else's doom and gloom. I don't want God to bring this back on me for being self-righteous and smug. And with 4 weeks left until I ship, it's all about me anyway:)
More later.
~Sailor Taylor
Remember Elle, the former DEP-CO who I cannot stand? Well guess what?
She got kicked out of boot camp and, therefore, The United States Navy.
GAH-DAYUM!
It's one thing to be subjected to Karma's wrath, but to have THAT happen to you? Daaaaaaamn. She got kicked the fuck out the best Navy EVER! And it will forever be on her record for the rest of her LIFE. Wooooooow.
Damn. I'm speechless.
Yeah, sure, hateful people should "get what they deserve," which is what I was hoping would happen to Elle while she was in boot camp. You know, get whipped into a better person. She was horrible, just HORRIBLE. But I always thought they would "straighten her out" at RTC. And that was it. It never occurred to me that she just wouldn't make it through boot camp period. That's messed up!
But she was an awful person. Perhaps boot camp wasn't her punishment/karma, but getting kicked out at the very 1st step of the Navy when she thought she would make it to the ranks of Chief (HA!) and ultimately fail at life was her punishment. Hmmm! Something to think about, right?
But my recruiter said that she got kicked out (medical discharge) because of her legs (stress fracture/ shine splints due to her lazy ass never running at home) and attitude. He said it was one thing to be hurt and push through it and have determination, but another to whine and bitch and moan and give up. And I can totally see her lazy ass whining, bitching, and moaning about she couldn't possibly go on and have mercy on her in boot camp.. But that's just MY thinking.
So while I was shaken up to hear that she got kicked out the Navy/ boot camp and feared that I would suffer the same fate, I now know that I WILL NOT end up the same way.
Why?
Because I am a fighter. You can read my blogs, watch me workout out at 6:30am and loose 6 percent body fat in 2 weeks to know I am a fighter. I WANT this. I have given up TOO MUCH to not have this. I have too much on the line. My life is at stake!
Elle did not feel or act the same way. She was lazy and expected the rest of the world to kiss her ass and fall victim to her simple mind games like those around her and it didn't. The world did not bend and she broke.
But I am conditioning myself for the trials that face me and, baby, you WILL NOT see my black ass come back home without wearing a Sailor's uniform. Believe that. Lil Mama wants this too much!
Now, enough of blogging about someone else's doom and gloom. I don't want God to bring this back on me for being self-righteous and smug. And with 4 weeks left until I ship, it's all about me anyway:)
More later.
~Sailor Taylor
Friday, July 16, 2010
The Weigh-in, Round Two!
Okay, so I have been putting this blog off due to my life being a *bit* hectic right now with me losing my job and having to move in with my sister and her family.. BUT, since I am unemployed, I have nothing but time on my hands for the next 4 weeks! Lol! I'm just trying to be optimistic here:) But, either way, the blogs will be flowing out of me from now until I leave.
So! This last weigh-in had me in complete shambles. I was stressed, uneasy, tense, worried, and having nightmares about this. I mean, THIS was IT for me. If I didn't make noticeable progress this time around, my ass would be out the Navy for sure. And to top it off I had just lost my job the day before. THAT right there took my motivation for real. That was life changing and I could have just stopped trying right then and there. I was in shock.. But I didn't stop. I was victorious in spite of!
I pulled out all the stops.
I took diuretics, magnesium citrate saline laxatives, and continued to workout in my stomach band and sauna suit. I was doing everything in my power to get this weight OFF of me and make my stomach flat and hips smooth.
I even took to drinking at least one of my meals a day if not two. I have these meal replacement shake thingies that I drink along with eating fruit salad for my meals. It wasn't the most satisfying, but it did the job of filling me up as long as I had tons of water to drink.. Sorta:/
But anyway! The day before my weigh-in, I did a laxative and stopped drinking water around 9pm and took 3 water pills/ diuretics. The next morning I slept in until about 10:30am and got to the gym at 11:30. And mind you I did not eat or drink ANYTHING that morning to keep my stomach flat so it wouldn't bloat.
At the gym, I did a light workout in my full workout gear (clothes, stomach belt, sauna suit, sweat shirt on top of that). It was hard because I didn't drink any water during (again, so I wouldn't bloat) and I was hot as HELL working out in all those layers. Especially with my hooded sweat shirt on top:( But I was careful and aware of how I felt so I wouldn't pass out..
Once I was done I showered and was ready face my fate. There was really nothing else I could do. So I weighed and measured myself on last time in my underwear (yes, I wore some this time! Lmao!) in the ladies' locker room.
The scale said 168. Okay.. Cool. And when I measured myself my waist was 29 inches and my hips were about 38-39 inches..
Cool! Plus my stomach looked super flat like when I 1st enlisted so I was ready!
I dressed and drove myself downtown to MEPS..
Back in the medical section, it was empty as always. But a civilian nurse who was about to leave saw I was just sitting back there alone and she offered to do my courtesy weigh-in.
I was a bit apprehensive about that because she wasn't the Army lieutenant who was supposed to measure and weigh me and I didn't want her to screw me over like the last lady.
I was freaking out but I prayed and went with it..
The nurse kept commenting on how I looked as though I was fit and would pass the requirements. I was praying that if she said that she would not screw me over.. *Fingers crossed!*
So I undressed and she took my weight. The scale said 167. YES! That's just 3 pounds away from the 164 I was when I was sworn in:) And a nice change from the 171 I was weighed at 2 or so weeks earlier.
And then she took my height.. I stretched my neck as much as I could to get more height..
She got me at 63 inches, as opposed to 62 inches. AWESOME!
And then the measurements came.
She somehow got my neck at 14.5 inches as opposed to 13. That's because she measured down around my collar bone. And that turned out to work for me..
She then measured my waist at 30 inches instead of 29. CRAP! I was a bit hot at that but I went with it..
Then she got to my hips and I felt right off the bat the tape was too low. And it was. It was down around my ass and she documented them as being 40.5 inches. Which wasn't too bad considering last time they were recorded as being 43 inches..
Overall, my body fat was *drum roll!* 30 percent! And since the Navy did not count the measurements the Army ladies took of me at my recruiters' office, it looked like I went from 36 percent to 30 in 2 weeks! Awwwwwwwesome! That'll show those guys how serious I am about losing this weight and shipping out! Hell yeah!
The chiefs at MEPS, my recruiters, friends, everyone was happy for me and I was pretty damn proud of myself too! And I was so THIRSTY! OMG, I was dying! After losing all that water I was ready to drink what was left of the ocean after the oil spill! LMAO!
Oh, but get this, MEPS wants me to get back down to where I was when I enlisted, which is at 28 percent body fat. That's not too far away but damnit! I just wanted to be proud of myself for a little bit! But oh well. No time for slacking off!..
Even though I did. I had a Subway cold cut and a Budweiser beer and they were friggin delicious! But back to the basics:(
My main worry now is how I am going to keep this weight off and continue to lose weight while not working. I mean, going to the gym and working kept me active. But now I am unemployed and living on the other side of town from where my gym is. I don't have the gas money to commute out to my gym everyday religiously like I had been before when I lived right down the street from it. So now I have to figure out if I can use the fitness room here in my sister's complex without them noticing I am not a resident here. And if I can't do that, I will have to do push-ups and sit-ups here and get to running around the area..
But the good thing is that my recruiter lives in the same complex as my sister (who I am staying with now) and he said he would PT with me and help me out:) Hopefully his ass ain lying to me this time. Ha!
Okay, I have said enough. Sorry for the delay with this blog. There is more to come because I always have a lot to say! Lol. I'll keep you guys posted:)
~Sailor Taylor
So! This last weigh-in had me in complete shambles. I was stressed, uneasy, tense, worried, and having nightmares about this. I mean, THIS was IT for me. If I didn't make noticeable progress this time around, my ass would be out the Navy for sure. And to top it off I had just lost my job the day before. THAT right there took my motivation for real. That was life changing and I could have just stopped trying right then and there. I was in shock.. But I didn't stop. I was victorious in spite of!
I pulled out all the stops.
I took diuretics, magnesium citrate saline laxatives, and continued to workout in my stomach band and sauna suit. I was doing everything in my power to get this weight OFF of me and make my stomach flat and hips smooth.
I even took to drinking at least one of my meals a day if not two. I have these meal replacement shake thingies that I drink along with eating fruit salad for my meals. It wasn't the most satisfying, but it did the job of filling me up as long as I had tons of water to drink.. Sorta:/
But anyway! The day before my weigh-in, I did a laxative and stopped drinking water around 9pm and took 3 water pills/ diuretics. The next morning I slept in until about 10:30am and got to the gym at 11:30. And mind you I did not eat or drink ANYTHING that morning to keep my stomach flat so it wouldn't bloat.
At the gym, I did a light workout in my full workout gear (clothes, stomach belt, sauna suit, sweat shirt on top of that). It was hard because I didn't drink any water during (again, so I wouldn't bloat) and I was hot as HELL working out in all those layers. Especially with my hooded sweat shirt on top:( But I was careful and aware of how I felt so I wouldn't pass out..
Once I was done I showered and was ready face my fate. There was really nothing else I could do. So I weighed and measured myself on last time in my underwear (yes, I wore some this time! Lmao!) in the ladies' locker room.
The scale said 168. Okay.. Cool. And when I measured myself my waist was 29 inches and my hips were about 38-39 inches..
Cool! Plus my stomach looked super flat like when I 1st enlisted so I was ready!
I dressed and drove myself downtown to MEPS..
Back in the medical section, it was empty as always. But a civilian nurse who was about to leave saw I was just sitting back there alone and she offered to do my courtesy weigh-in.
I was a bit apprehensive about that because she wasn't the Army lieutenant who was supposed to measure and weigh me and I didn't want her to screw me over like the last lady.
I was freaking out but I prayed and went with it..
The nurse kept commenting on how I looked as though I was fit and would pass the requirements. I was praying that if she said that she would not screw me over.. *Fingers crossed!*
So I undressed and she took my weight. The scale said 167. YES! That's just 3 pounds away from the 164 I was when I was sworn in:) And a nice change from the 171 I was weighed at 2 or so weeks earlier.
And then she took my height.. I stretched my neck as much as I could to get more height..
She got me at 63 inches, as opposed to 62 inches. AWESOME!
And then the measurements came.
She somehow got my neck at 14.5 inches as opposed to 13. That's because she measured down around my collar bone. And that turned out to work for me..
She then measured my waist at 30 inches instead of 29. CRAP! I was a bit hot at that but I went with it..
Then she got to my hips and I felt right off the bat the tape was too low. And it was. It was down around my ass and she documented them as being 40.5 inches. Which wasn't too bad considering last time they were recorded as being 43 inches..
Overall, my body fat was *drum roll!* 30 percent! And since the Navy did not count the measurements the Army ladies took of me at my recruiters' office, it looked like I went from 36 percent to 30 in 2 weeks! Awwwwwwwesome! That'll show those guys how serious I am about losing this weight and shipping out! Hell yeah!
The chiefs at MEPS, my recruiters, friends, everyone was happy for me and I was pretty damn proud of myself too! And I was so THIRSTY! OMG, I was dying! After losing all that water I was ready to drink what was left of the ocean after the oil spill! LMAO!
Oh, but get this, MEPS wants me to get back down to where I was when I enlisted, which is at 28 percent body fat. That's not too far away but damnit! I just wanted to be proud of myself for a little bit! But oh well. No time for slacking off!..
Even though I did. I had a Subway cold cut and a Budweiser beer and they were friggin delicious! But back to the basics:(
My main worry now is how I am going to keep this weight off and continue to lose weight while not working. I mean, going to the gym and working kept me active. But now I am unemployed and living on the other side of town from where my gym is. I don't have the gas money to commute out to my gym everyday religiously like I had been before when I lived right down the street from it. So now I have to figure out if I can use the fitness room here in my sister's complex without them noticing I am not a resident here. And if I can't do that, I will have to do push-ups and sit-ups here and get to running around the area..
But the good thing is that my recruiter lives in the same complex as my sister (who I am staying with now) and he said he would PT with me and help me out:) Hopefully his ass ain lying to me this time. Ha!
Okay, I have said enough. Sorry for the delay with this blog. There is more to come because I always have a lot to say! Lol. I'll keep you guys posted:)
~Sailor Taylor
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Fired.
Yep, that's what happened to me today. I got fired from my job. With exactly 5 weeks until I ship out to boot camp.
I'm not going to go into details about what happened because I don't want to and I am too hurt and pissed. But I will be staying with family starting Friday because I cannot afford to pay my rent.
This is really my fault because I got accustomed to eating out everyday and going out every weekend and didn't save money like I should. But thank God for family. I will be staying with my sister, her husband, and my niece and nephew until I ship out.
But this is still my fault. I will miss my independence as I sleep on her couch at night and do nothing for the next 5 weeks during the day. I have enough food to hold me over, but I am thinking about what a turn my life has made in a matter of minutes..
Life sucks. But it goes on. And I HAVE to ace this weigh-in more than ever tomorrow. I'm praying they will go ahead and ship me out. I literally have nowhere else to turn to:(
As if I wasn't stressed enough because of my weight. Now THIS.
HELP ME!!!
~Sailor Taylor
I'm not going to go into details about what happened because I don't want to and I am too hurt and pissed. But I will be staying with family starting Friday because I cannot afford to pay my rent.
This is really my fault because I got accustomed to eating out everyday and going out every weekend and didn't save money like I should. But thank God for family. I will be staying with my sister, her husband, and my niece and nephew until I ship out.
But this is still my fault. I will miss my independence as I sleep on her couch at night and do nothing for the next 5 weeks during the day. I have enough food to hold me over, but I am thinking about what a turn my life has made in a matter of minutes..
Life sucks. But it goes on. And I HAVE to ace this weigh-in more than ever tomorrow. I'm praying they will go ahead and ship me out. I literally have nowhere else to turn to:(
As if I wasn't stressed enough because of my weight. Now THIS.
HELP ME!!!
~Sailor Taylor
Sunday, July 11, 2010
The Pre- Round Two Weigh-In
To start off I want to say that I got some diuretics to get rid of some excess water weight. That HAD to be my issue. I was working out, drinking MAD amounts of water, cut down on my eating, and yet still saw no results. I was getting pretty frustrated and pissed and distraught and every other negative mental state of mind I can think of. I knew stressing wasn't good for me but what else was I going to do? I have 5 weeks left and I am still a "fatty."
And it didn't help that my damn recruiters didn't show up to work out with me like they said they would. I figured they were full of shit and were just talking mess in front of the senior chief. Turns out I was right:( And to top it off, we were supposed to workout together the Friday right before the 4th of July weekend. Like, really?? Yeah, that wasn't about to happen. But silly me, I believed them. Either way, I showed up at the gym when I was supposed to and did my own workout solo.
But anyhoe! After taking Diurex, I had to use the rest room like crazy. And after a shorter workout than I was used to on Friday (I was just plain tired), I weighed and measured myself. Even though my measurements were still the same (shit!), I have lost weight! I lost about 2 lbs. I am down from 172 to 170. Yay for small victories! So maybe it was just water weight? But if that was the case, why didn't I lose any inches?? Hm! Who knows? But I must lose inches! They are sure to follow, right??
But back to my story..
I randomly got called by my recruiter on the Friday I just mentioned (July 9th) saying that my 2nd weigh-in would be on this Wednesday and that I needed to come in the office that day as well. He was in a good mood and I thought nothing of it, so I stopped by the office. And then all hell broke loose.
Both my recruiters were obviously excited and upset and were talking over each other trying to tell me what transpired earlier that day. They were fire hot and with good reason. What happened went a little like this:
Both my recruiters were called down to MEPS for a district/ zone meeting with the new chief over all the recruiters and the people at MEPS. That is where one of the chiefs that I blogged about earlier who SAID he would help me out and keep my weight under wraps ratted me out in cold blood to the new chief. Even though he and the senior chief supposedly agreed to be hush-hush about my weight at my last weigh-in, this guy lied, went back on his word, and reported my weight anyway. And he told the new chief about my weight issue in the district meeting in front the entire district and my recruiters. That back stabber!
Immediately the new chief cut into my recruiters and words were said. My recruiters said they had never been spoken to so harshly. And to make matters MUCH worse, my recruiter, the head recruiter in the office, got demoted because of me. He will still be a recruiter but not the head recruiter, and it's all because I gained weight and he is the one who put me in the Navy. That is a slap in his face. His record is impeccable. He recruits twice as many people as almost any other recruiting office. But none of that matters when it came to my weight. They took the title of head recruiter away from him because I fucked up. And for that I am truly sorry. I didn't want anyone to get hurt on my behalf..
But once they told me all of this, that is when they told me that the chief was coming by the office to talk to me.
Shit!
So, in a nut shell, he came by and we spoke. I had to FIGHT to keep my ass in the Navy. I was near tears. I DO want this, I just got complacent. But who wouldn't during a 6 month wait? I thought I had more time. I didn't think my weight would balloon out of control like this. I didn't think that ass hole lady at MEPS would measure me and fuck up my numbers (I mentioned her in a previous blog)..
But the chief said even though his ass was on the line as well because of my weight (as in he could get in trouble too for sending a "fat shipper" to boot camp. I resent being called "fat.") he would still work with me. But where have I heard that from?? Yeah. So, it's safe to say that I am not trusting anybody right now, but all I have is this one last chance so I have to take it.. But I knew that if did get kicked out the Navy that day I would have walked my ass on over to the Army office and joined, lol!
But I did almost get kicked out. All the chief had to do was turn my name into Millington and that would have been IT for me. No more Navy. No more $20,000 LRP. No more new life away from Memphis.
But now I have to call the chief and check in with him about once a week. Great.
But get this. Even though I didn't get kicked out the Navy, that chief at MEPS that ratted me out apparently turned my name into Millington anyway and now I am officially on their hit list. An official email was sent out via the Navy's intranet and my name was on it along with many others. That means I am on the bulls eye for getting kicked out due to my weight. "They" are watching me.
And because I was "turned in", the chief had me weighed and measured again. I went down from 171/172 lbs to about 168, according to my recruiters and the what the scale said in their office (I didn't question it!). Also, according to my official measurements from MEPS, I am not 5'2", but 5'2.75". THAT helps a whole hell of a lot!
But after my weight was taken I was sent over to the Army office to be measured by two females because men cannot take female measurements...
Y'all, had my recruiters told me I was going to get measured that day I would have worn underwear. Lol! I was sooooooo embarrassed! But oh well! I don't wear underwear all the time and this was one of those times! Haha.. Well, I guess that whole "wear clean underwear" thing Momma used to talk about came into play at that very moment. LMAO! And once I told the two ladies that I wasn't wearing any undies, they said they would measure me over my pants instead of having me pull them down. They seem slightly shocked, but I know they have run across women who don't wear panties before. Oops:)
Long story short, between both of those ladies measuring me, my hips went down from 43 inches to 40. And with me being 5'2.75", my overall body weight went from 36 percent to 33 percent. Yay! That is a VERY good look for me. I have gone down 3 percent in about a week and a half. But really I haven't. That woman at MEPS that measured me before did a fucked up job and took my hip measurements too low..
But anyway! That's my long ass story. My recruiters got in trouble because of me, I almost got kicked out the Navy, and this Wednesday I have another weigh-in. So pray for me! I have fallen victim to McDonald's recently and I am bloated and feel fat:( Lord help me! Food will be the end of me. So here I am working out in a sweat suit on TOP of my stomach belt and plastic PVC sauna suit and taking laxatives. It is hot as FUCK, but I have to do it. I have to combat an entire life span of improper eating habits in about 4 weeks... IF I really want this. And I do.
Lord, help me!
~Sailor Taylor
And it didn't help that my damn recruiters didn't show up to work out with me like they said they would. I figured they were full of shit and were just talking mess in front of the senior chief. Turns out I was right:( And to top it off, we were supposed to workout together the Friday right before the 4th of July weekend. Like, really?? Yeah, that wasn't about to happen. But silly me, I believed them. Either way, I showed up at the gym when I was supposed to and did my own workout solo.
But anyhoe! After taking Diurex, I had to use the rest room like crazy. And after a shorter workout than I was used to on Friday (I was just plain tired), I weighed and measured myself. Even though my measurements were still the same (shit!), I have lost weight! I lost about 2 lbs. I am down from 172 to 170. Yay for small victories! So maybe it was just water weight? But if that was the case, why didn't I lose any inches?? Hm! Who knows? But I must lose inches! They are sure to follow, right??
But back to my story..
I randomly got called by my recruiter on the Friday I just mentioned (July 9th) saying that my 2nd weigh-in would be on this Wednesday and that I needed to come in the office that day as well. He was in a good mood and I thought nothing of it, so I stopped by the office. And then all hell broke loose.
Both my recruiters were obviously excited and upset and were talking over each other trying to tell me what transpired earlier that day. They were fire hot and with good reason. What happened went a little like this:
Both my recruiters were called down to MEPS for a district/ zone meeting with the new chief over all the recruiters and the people at MEPS. That is where one of the chiefs that I blogged about earlier who SAID he would help me out and keep my weight under wraps ratted me out in cold blood to the new chief. Even though he and the senior chief supposedly agreed to be hush-hush about my weight at my last weigh-in, this guy lied, went back on his word, and reported my weight anyway. And he told the new chief about my weight issue in the district meeting in front the entire district and my recruiters. That back stabber!
Immediately the new chief cut into my recruiters and words were said. My recruiters said they had never been spoken to so harshly. And to make matters MUCH worse, my recruiter, the head recruiter in the office, got demoted because of me. He will still be a recruiter but not the head recruiter, and it's all because I gained weight and he is the one who put me in the Navy. That is a slap in his face. His record is impeccable. He recruits twice as many people as almost any other recruiting office. But none of that matters when it came to my weight. They took the title of head recruiter away from him because I fucked up. And for that I am truly sorry. I didn't want anyone to get hurt on my behalf..
But once they told me all of this, that is when they told me that the chief was coming by the office to talk to me.
Shit!
So, in a nut shell, he came by and we spoke. I had to FIGHT to keep my ass in the Navy. I was near tears. I DO want this, I just got complacent. But who wouldn't during a 6 month wait? I thought I had more time. I didn't think my weight would balloon out of control like this. I didn't think that ass hole lady at MEPS would measure me and fuck up my numbers (I mentioned her in a previous blog)..
But the chief said even though his ass was on the line as well because of my weight (as in he could get in trouble too for sending a "fat shipper" to boot camp. I resent being called "fat.") he would still work with me. But where have I heard that from?? Yeah. So, it's safe to say that I am not trusting anybody right now, but all I have is this one last chance so I have to take it.. But I knew that if did get kicked out the Navy that day I would have walked my ass on over to the Army office and joined, lol!
But I did almost get kicked out. All the chief had to do was turn my name into Millington and that would have been IT for me. No more Navy. No more $20,000 LRP. No more new life away from Memphis.
But now I have to call the chief and check in with him about once a week. Great.
But get this. Even though I didn't get kicked out the Navy, that chief at MEPS that ratted me out apparently turned my name into Millington anyway and now I am officially on their hit list. An official email was sent out via the Navy's intranet and my name was on it along with many others. That means I am on the bulls eye for getting kicked out due to my weight. "They" are watching me.
And because I was "turned in", the chief had me weighed and measured again. I went down from 171/172 lbs to about 168, according to my recruiters and the what the scale said in their office (I didn't question it!). Also, according to my official measurements from MEPS, I am not 5'2", but 5'2.75". THAT helps a whole hell of a lot!
But after my weight was taken I was sent over to the Army office to be measured by two females because men cannot take female measurements...
Y'all, had my recruiters told me I was going to get measured that day I would have worn underwear. Lol! I was sooooooo embarrassed! But oh well! I don't wear underwear all the time and this was one of those times! Haha.. Well, I guess that whole "wear clean underwear" thing Momma used to talk about came into play at that very moment. LMAO! And once I told the two ladies that I wasn't wearing any undies, they said they would measure me over my pants instead of having me pull them down. They seem slightly shocked, but I know they have run across women who don't wear panties before. Oops:)
Long story short, between both of those ladies measuring me, my hips went down from 43 inches to 40. And with me being 5'2.75", my overall body weight went from 36 percent to 33 percent. Yay! That is a VERY good look for me. I have gone down 3 percent in about a week and a half. But really I haven't. That woman at MEPS that measured me before did a fucked up job and took my hip measurements too low..
But anyway! That's my long ass story. My recruiters got in trouble because of me, I almost got kicked out the Navy, and this Wednesday I have another weigh-in. So pray for me! I have fallen victim to McDonald's recently and I am bloated and feel fat:( Lord help me! Food will be the end of me. So here I am working out in a sweat suit on TOP of my stomach belt and plastic PVC sauna suit and taking laxatives. It is hot as FUCK, but I have to do it. I have to combat an entire life span of improper eating habits in about 4 weeks... IF I really want this. And I do.
Lord, help me!
~Sailor Taylor
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
The Fat Boy Suit, Revisited
Since I blogged about my Sauna Suit and posted statuses about it on Facebook, I have turned two friends onto them lol. I'm so proud of me:) They are heavier and desire to lose weight, and after my "testimony" about the suit they got one! Yay to spreading healthy habits and workout tips! One friend, a girl, said she was scared to try it lol. And the other, a guy, said that he has never sweated so much during his workouts, he was in disbelief. And disgusted lol.
And for those who are wondering, I still continue to work out in mine every day religiously. This weight will come off!
Now, if you excuse me, I must sleep. I have to hit the gym tomorrow;)
~Sailor Taylor
And for those who are wondering, I still continue to work out in mine every day religiously. This weight will come off!
Now, if you excuse me, I must sleep. I have to hit the gym tomorrow;)
~Sailor Taylor
Girl Talk! Skin and Hair
Sooo....
There is so much I could say and want to say because a good amount of things have taken place, but I just don't feel like it right now. Sorry. I will one day soon but at this very moment, I guess I need to let these things simmer and settle inside me before I share them with the world. It's hard to explain, but a lot of times I just don't feel like talking or typing right after things take place. This is kinda one of those times. And I say kinda because I do feel like talking, just not about anything too deep or that would take up too much time.
So I'm going to talk about my hair and skin! :)
So my shaven head of hair has grown into a TWA: a teenie weenie afro, for all you non-natural readers. It's about a 4th of an inch long. Not even half... Well, maybe half an inch. But barely.
Anyway, I don't comb it, I just slather Murray's pomade on it and maybe some Let's Jam hair gel(which I don't really like because it has the wrong, watery consistency and I'm sure alcohol in it as well) with raw shea butter. Oh! And I started using this organic, all natural stuff called SheaMoisture today too. I'm happy to see how that works out in my hair..
But all that stuff moisturizes it and allows it to clump together and curl up. It's cute:) But, as usual, I was getting restless and got it lined up today. My edges were looking a tiny bit rough, though. And now they look better. Neater. It's not a huge difference, and it shouldn't be. It was just a little clean up to my appearance. But I will certainly be happy when it really starts GROWING. But patience is a virtue;( And I will say that I was happy when a co-worker and customer noticed it was growing. So yay to that:)
Okay! So, I went back and forth with Selsun Blue because I was *determined* to get this stuff to work. I figured out that if I mixed it with Clean and Clear Advantage, scrubbed off the dead/ peeling skin with apricot scrub once a week, and use a bleaching facial cream day and especially at night, it works! Lol. That's kinda a lot, but it works for me. Because I was DESPERATE for a "cure" to my acne, even though there is literally no cure for acne, just like the common cold:(
But so far everything seems to be working fine and dandy. I still have some acne, but it is way better than what it was. And I still have dark spots but those will eventually go away with time and my bleaching/toning cream. They always do. So between this and guzzling down water, I'm good:) Oh, and I stopped taking all those damn vitamins. There were breaking me out, I know. And they made my pee strong. So not cute:(
But that's enough for now! I didn't even mean to write this much, lol. But whatever.
Toodles!
~Sailor Taylor
There is so much I could say and want to say because a good amount of things have taken place, but I just don't feel like it right now. Sorry. I will one day soon but at this very moment, I guess I need to let these things simmer and settle inside me before I share them with the world. It's hard to explain, but a lot of times I just don't feel like talking or typing right after things take place. This is kinda one of those times. And I say kinda because I do feel like talking, just not about anything too deep or that would take up too much time.
So I'm going to talk about my hair and skin! :)
So my shaven head of hair has grown into a TWA: a teenie weenie afro, for all you non-natural readers. It's about a 4th of an inch long. Not even half... Well, maybe half an inch. But barely.
Anyway, I don't comb it, I just slather Murray's pomade on it and maybe some Let's Jam hair gel(which I don't really like because it has the wrong, watery consistency and I'm sure alcohol in it as well) with raw shea butter. Oh! And I started using this organic, all natural stuff called SheaMoisture today too. I'm happy to see how that works out in my hair..
But all that stuff moisturizes it and allows it to clump together and curl up. It's cute:) But, as usual, I was getting restless and got it lined up today. My edges were looking a tiny bit rough, though. And now they look better. Neater. It's not a huge difference, and it shouldn't be. It was just a little clean up to my appearance. But I will certainly be happy when it really starts GROWING. But patience is a virtue;( And I will say that I was happy when a co-worker and customer noticed it was growing. So yay to that:)
Okay! So, I went back and forth with Selsun Blue because I was *determined* to get this stuff to work. I figured out that if I mixed it with Clean and Clear Advantage, scrubbed off the dead/ peeling skin with apricot scrub once a week, and use a bleaching facial cream day and especially at night, it works! Lol. That's kinda a lot, but it works for me. Because I was DESPERATE for a "cure" to my acne, even though there is literally no cure for acne, just like the common cold:(
But so far everything seems to be working fine and dandy. I still have some acne, but it is way better than what it was. And I still have dark spots but those will eventually go away with time and my bleaching/toning cream. They always do. So between this and guzzling down water, I'm good:) Oh, and I stopped taking all those damn vitamins. There were breaking me out, I know. And they made my pee strong. So not cute:(
But that's enough for now! I didn't even mean to write this much, lol. But whatever.
Toodles!
~Sailor Taylor
Thursday, July 1, 2010
The Weigh-In
Welcome to a new month, y'all! We're getting closer and closer to me shipping out! This is the last full month I have at home and after that it will be August and time for me to go to boot camp! Wow:)
Well now, on to business..
I thought that since I have access to a computer for the next few days that I would try to hammer out this potentially long blog now, as opposed to doing so on my Blackberry. That shit takes dedication!..
Okay, so my recruiters decided that I would not have my weigh-in after July 15th but right before the holiday so I could buy myself some time, if need be. Apparently July 15th is when the Navy weighs the August shippers to see who they need to kick out due to weight problems. Therefore, my recruiters wanted me to get my weight under control before then.
So, keeping in mind that I have this weigh-in coming up, I call myself cleaning my system, not eating dairy or foods that bloat me, and trying to stay hydrated. I work outed, did ab exercises, and sat in the sauna to sweat off a few pounds, or so I thought. And a few hours before I had my weigh-in I sat in the sauna with plastic wrap wrapped around my stomach. Every little bit helps, I thought to myself.
So I shower after my last ditch effort workout and head to MEPS. The place is somewhat empty but the female airman (in the Airforce) who weighed me and took my measurements initially is not around to do it again. I am handed over to THE LAST woman I wanted to do my measurements..
Now, I don't know this woman's name but every time I mention her to ANY recruiter, all I have to say is "You know? The Black woman that tries to dress nice but has a real funky ass attitude?" And they know EXACTLY who I am talking about. It's a damn shame that a person's funky ass attitude precedes their name and even takes the place of it, but that is the case with this woman. It's as if she has a personal vendetta with EVERYONE, including me. She even gave me shit back in January while I was going through the enlistment process. She hounded me with questions, like she was trying to catch me in a lie that would delay my enlistment, if not cancel it out all together. But I got through that crap. Fuck her.
But now this heffa was about to do my measurements. My heart sank and mentally I was saying "Shit, shit, SHIT!!"
So, I go in the back examination-type room thingy and undress down to my skivvies (underwear for all you civilians). I'm not exactly sure of the order in which things occurred, but she weighed my and the electronic scale said 170.6, so she rounded up to 171. 7 pounds heavier than when I enlisted at 164 pounds. Crap! But okay. I knew I would be around that or 172. And that's fine because I will never fit into the Navy's weight requirements and that is why they take my measurements..
But then this woman takes out the tape. Everything was cool until she got to my hips. My neck went from 12 inches to 13 inches, which was correct. My waist went from 28 inches to 30, which was still correct. And then this heffa got to my hips. She measured me on the largest part of my hip, which is actually my thighs and butt. She was too far down from where my actual hip bone is. So, instead of my hips being 38 inches, which is correct, she got me an 43 inches. Which is WRONG! And because of that crap my body fat percentage went from around 31% to 36%. That max body fat for females entering the Navy is 36%. I am on the cutting block. Shit! When I took my measurements at home I was right at 33%, which is safe. And it's the correct percentage when I am measured right where I should be. But noooooo. This miserable bitch has to mess it up for everybody! What the hell is wrong with her?? Uuuuuggghhh!
But I take the paperwork with my measurements to the chiefs in the Navy office at MEPS. They remember me from when I kept coming back up there to get my LRP info taken care of and they are fond of me. But they tell me that they have to put me under the microscope now because of my weight and that I am now on their "hit list" of who to kick out the DEP pool and the Navy. They said my weight looks good on me (still skanky old men, lol), but that it's not good enough for the Navy. One chief told me that I need to get down to 33% body fat and another told me that I need to target my abs to get my waist down. They said that I have just enough time to do this by August 17th..
I know I let them down after all they did to get that LRP approved for me and all the strings they had to pull. And here I am getting fat. How ungrateful is that, right?
I take heed to what they say, thank them, and head down to my recruiters' office to give them the bad news..
When I come in the office (which had the "closed" sign up meaning they were not actively recruiting that day), I saw the Senior Chief sitting at a desk doing his homework. My heart sank a little bit more. I knew he would have something to say about the subject.
He was happy to see me, though. I recently wrote a research paper and edited another for him and they both received the highest scores possible. So he likes me just for the simple fact I am smart and did that for him.
So, not to get into too deep of details, my recruiters were pissed at me for gaining weight like I did. I mean, they are the ones who sent me to get weighed because of this new chief we have. They thought he would be checking for my weight anyway so they called themselves doing something about it before he said anything..
But they had a few words for me, needless to say. They were displeased. Because if I get in trouble, they get in trouble. It's just how the Navy operates. It's a system of checks and balances. They are my keepers, so to speak. And I am a reflection upon them according to their superiors.
But the real shocker is what Senior Chief had to say. He first asked me if I wanted to go to boot camp, because my measurements showed that I didn't. I told him I did. And he then told me that he had a soft spot for me since I helped him out. on his homework.. So he got the chiefs at MEPS on the phone and told them to keep my weight issue under wraps. As in, don't tell anyone about it because I would surely get kicked out without a 2nd thought or appeal. The chief on the phone even went so far as to say that he would try to get me shipped out to boot camp THIS MONTH, but Senior Chief told him no since I do work for him (lol, typical. He needs me to do his homework. Haha). He said that he would work with me. The chief then said that he would have me report to MEPS every Monday or so to get measured by a female Army lieutenant there. Apparently she knows how to measure people? Maybe? I don't know. But between Senior Chief and that other chief, I got my shit worked out at MEPS. They agreed to not even tell the new chief. Even my recruiters commented on how awesome and amazing that was. Here I am with Senior chiefs and chiefs on my side..
Can you say favor? All because I helped out one man and wrote his paper, everything is falling into place..
And after the Senior Chief got off the phone with MEPS, my recruiters told me that they would work out with me to get my ass in shape. They said they would meet me at 8:45am at the gym I go to and show me how to work out to get this weight off. Everyone agrees that I have just enough time before I ship to boot camp to do this. One recruiter told me to get the sauna suit and stomach band that I previously wrote about and another said he wasn't about to get in trouble for my ass. So he was going to whip my ass into shape..
So, looooong story short, I have a Senior Chief, two chiefs, a lieutenant, and both my recruiters out to help me get this weight off and keep my ass in the Navy. Thank you Lord! Never have I ever felt support like this. I am so close to losing everything I have worked hard for. What is wrong with me? But thank God for people who care in some sort of way. I need them.
Tomorrow I am supposed to meet up with my recruiters at the gym.
I am scared shitless. I don't work out with men with good reason. They are crazy! And I am shy:( But here I am guzzling down water at the current moment trying to stay hydrated so I won't pass the fuck out during this work out. Hell, I'm praying they don't even show up! Lol. I'm just so shy about this.. I blame it on my dad not being around.. And on the fact I have a hella crush on one of them lol. Teehee..
Anyhoe! This blog has gone on long enough. I have to get my ass into bed and pray about tomorrow.. Lord, be with me! I'll keep you all posted:)
~Sailor Taylor
Well now, on to business..
I thought that since I have access to a computer for the next few days that I would try to hammer out this potentially long blog now, as opposed to doing so on my Blackberry. That shit takes dedication!..
Okay, so my recruiters decided that I would not have my weigh-in after July 15th but right before the holiday so I could buy myself some time, if need be. Apparently July 15th is when the Navy weighs the August shippers to see who they need to kick out due to weight problems. Therefore, my recruiters wanted me to get my weight under control before then.
So, keeping in mind that I have this weigh-in coming up, I call myself cleaning my system, not eating dairy or foods that bloat me, and trying to stay hydrated. I work outed, did ab exercises, and sat in the sauna to sweat off a few pounds, or so I thought. And a few hours before I had my weigh-in I sat in the sauna with plastic wrap wrapped around my stomach. Every little bit helps, I thought to myself.
So I shower after my last ditch effort workout and head to MEPS. The place is somewhat empty but the female airman (in the Airforce) who weighed me and took my measurements initially is not around to do it again. I am handed over to THE LAST woman I wanted to do my measurements..
Now, I don't know this woman's name but every time I mention her to ANY recruiter, all I have to say is "You know? The Black woman that tries to dress nice but has a real funky ass attitude?" And they know EXACTLY who I am talking about. It's a damn shame that a person's funky ass attitude precedes their name and even takes the place of it, but that is the case with this woman. It's as if she has a personal vendetta with EVERYONE, including me. She even gave me shit back in January while I was going through the enlistment process. She hounded me with questions, like she was trying to catch me in a lie that would delay my enlistment, if not cancel it out all together. But I got through that crap. Fuck her.
But now this heffa was about to do my measurements. My heart sank and mentally I was saying "Shit, shit, SHIT!!"
So, I go in the back examination-type room thingy and undress down to my skivvies (underwear for all you civilians). I'm not exactly sure of the order in which things occurred, but she weighed my and the electronic scale said 170.6, so she rounded up to 171. 7 pounds heavier than when I enlisted at 164 pounds. Crap! But okay. I knew I would be around that or 172. And that's fine because I will never fit into the Navy's weight requirements and that is why they take my measurements..
But then this woman takes out the tape. Everything was cool until she got to my hips. My neck went from 12 inches to 13 inches, which was correct. My waist went from 28 inches to 30, which was still correct. And then this heffa got to my hips. She measured me on the largest part of my hip, which is actually my thighs and butt. She was too far down from where my actual hip bone is. So, instead of my hips being 38 inches, which is correct, she got me an 43 inches. Which is WRONG! And because of that crap my body fat percentage went from around 31% to 36%. That max body fat for females entering the Navy is 36%. I am on the cutting block. Shit! When I took my measurements at home I was right at 33%, which is safe. And it's the correct percentage when I am measured right where I should be. But noooooo. This miserable bitch has to mess it up for everybody! What the hell is wrong with her?? Uuuuuggghhh!
But I take the paperwork with my measurements to the chiefs in the Navy office at MEPS. They remember me from when I kept coming back up there to get my LRP info taken care of and they are fond of me. But they tell me that they have to put me under the microscope now because of my weight and that I am now on their "hit list" of who to kick out the DEP pool and the Navy. They said my weight looks good on me (still skanky old men, lol), but that it's not good enough for the Navy. One chief told me that I need to get down to 33% body fat and another told me that I need to target my abs to get my waist down. They said that I have just enough time to do this by August 17th..
I know I let them down after all they did to get that LRP approved for me and all the strings they had to pull. And here I am getting fat. How ungrateful is that, right?
I take heed to what they say, thank them, and head down to my recruiters' office to give them the bad news..
When I come in the office (which had the "closed" sign up meaning they were not actively recruiting that day), I saw the Senior Chief sitting at a desk doing his homework. My heart sank a little bit more. I knew he would have something to say about the subject.
He was happy to see me, though. I recently wrote a research paper and edited another for him and they both received the highest scores possible. So he likes me just for the simple fact I am smart and did that for him.
So, not to get into too deep of details, my recruiters were pissed at me for gaining weight like I did. I mean, they are the ones who sent me to get weighed because of this new chief we have. They thought he would be checking for my weight anyway so they called themselves doing something about it before he said anything..
But they had a few words for me, needless to say. They were displeased. Because if I get in trouble, they get in trouble. It's just how the Navy operates. It's a system of checks and balances. They are my keepers, so to speak. And I am a reflection upon them according to their superiors.
But the real shocker is what Senior Chief had to say. He first asked me if I wanted to go to boot camp, because my measurements showed that I didn't. I told him I did. And he then told me that he had a soft spot for me since I helped him out. on his homework.. So he got the chiefs at MEPS on the phone and told them to keep my weight issue under wraps. As in, don't tell anyone about it because I would surely get kicked out without a 2nd thought or appeal. The chief on the phone even went so far as to say that he would try to get me shipped out to boot camp THIS MONTH, but Senior Chief told him no since I do work for him (lol, typical. He needs me to do his homework. Haha). He said that he would work with me. The chief then said that he would have me report to MEPS every Monday or so to get measured by a female Army lieutenant there. Apparently she knows how to measure people? Maybe? I don't know. But between Senior Chief and that other chief, I got my shit worked out at MEPS. They agreed to not even tell the new chief. Even my recruiters commented on how awesome and amazing that was. Here I am with Senior chiefs and chiefs on my side..
Can you say favor? All because I helped out one man and wrote his paper, everything is falling into place..
And after the Senior Chief got off the phone with MEPS, my recruiters told me that they would work out with me to get my ass in shape. They said they would meet me at 8:45am at the gym I go to and show me how to work out to get this weight off. Everyone agrees that I have just enough time before I ship to boot camp to do this. One recruiter told me to get the sauna suit and stomach band that I previously wrote about and another said he wasn't about to get in trouble for my ass. So he was going to whip my ass into shape..
So, looooong story short, I have a Senior Chief, two chiefs, a lieutenant, and both my recruiters out to help me get this weight off and keep my ass in the Navy. Thank you Lord! Never have I ever felt support like this. I am so close to losing everything I have worked hard for. What is wrong with me? But thank God for people who care in some sort of way. I need them.
Tomorrow I am supposed to meet up with my recruiters at the gym.
I am scared shitless. I don't work out with men with good reason. They are crazy! And I am shy:( But here I am guzzling down water at the current moment trying to stay hydrated so I won't pass the fuck out during this work out. Hell, I'm praying they don't even show up! Lol. I'm just so shy about this.. I blame it on my dad not being around.. And on the fact I have a hella crush on one of them lol. Teehee..
Anyhoe! This blog has gone on long enough. I have to get my ass into bed and pray about tomorrow.. Lord, be with me! I'll keep you all posted:)
~Sailor Taylor
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